peace at last but not for too long..

so.. here i am.. alone at last. i have to say i am a bit of a social butterfly but usually i keep my wings inside my own doors and it's the other butterflies that come to enjoy themselves...

just got back from dinner with a friend... fellow musician.. and i have to say the details of a conversation held with another musician in unlike the details of any other conversation. guess that the mindset of one musician is not always similar but may contains several similar attributes allowing for easy and understanable flow of information...

most conversations i have with most people involves about 15% talking and 85% explaining what im talking about. If i could just communicate with someone that understood what i was saying without me having to explain myself over and over again.. we would exchange much more interesting data.

however i have only seem to find that attribute in one person and they arent even in this state.. alas.. the internet.. has done so many great things for us.. including making the world very very small...

now people from budapedst and northern california are buddies.. friend even.. and sometimes.. even bound together in wedlock. wow

without the internet do you really think that jimbob from bumsville, idaho and natalia from kratzlakistan, russia were gonna meet at the starbucks on wall st. at 3:45 this sunday afternoon if it wasn't for the internet...

maybe..

fate and destiny play an interesting role in life.. not saying that fate and destiny exist or even if they do, that they control 100% of lifes choices... but its interesting for me to think about.

so.. like i said not for too long..

money just stumbled in tossed a small faced five to me and the next thing i hear is a door closing...

interesting.

so...

i was in an interesting mind state last night and decided that i could get away with sitting on the couch without getting too much 'ish for it by trying to relax every muscle in my body starting with my toes and ending at my eyebrows and using that as my excuse..

it worked.. nicely and it took a lil more concentration than i presumed. of course after i relax all my muscles its time to relax my mind.. this is one of those mind over matter things...

so whats the point?

whats is all mean bazzle!?

this thing that we've been thrown into.. and expected to not only stay afloat but to swim.. and not only swim but to dive. and with 3.7 billion other people. doesnt that mean we're expendable.. i mean.. we're only 1 of 3.7 billion.. thats three billion, seven hundred million... 3,700,000,000 but that doesnt seem like a lot.. so lets take off one number and see the drastic effect it has...

3,699,999,999..

three billion, six hundred and ninety-nine million, nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine hundrend and ninety-nine.. whew..

that seems like a bigger number to me than 3,700,000,000.. but its not.. so onto the next topic..

what is the big picture? what are we here to do? more importantly.. what am i here to do? thats a rhetorical question. i guess figuring that out is a one way ticket to somewhere else .. cause im sure as soon as you figure out the answer...thats it... youre promoted.

and i dont wanna go anywhere so imma stop talkin about it...

so serving has its goods.. and i have to say it has more goods than bads.. working at AOL was bad bad bad bad bad bad semibad... and more bad..

the only good thing was is that i wasnt the only one that hated that job... misery enjoys company...

and i was the company.. AOL was the misery.. and i left that crap job on the sidewalk. and for a significant cut in money and an imeasurable jump in happiness i sit here today.. leading my life with words and a blue guitar named gloria..

and im not sure where its gonna take me.. not sure if we'll be lucky enough to make it to the big show.. whatever that may be..

i am confident that we are going to succeed. but i do not know that we are..

the biggest fuel i have now is my belief in it. i believe we are going to succeed.. and whatever form of success i encounter, i will do my best to appreciate it.

and i receive the most feedback from the people that have no friggin clue what they are talking about..

most dont know why i do what i do.. some people may have an idea.. some people couldnt care less.. and those are usually the naysayers.. people that have seen failure before and think its contagious.. no no no.. wrong..

failure is not contagious.. its an option.

if i dont want to fail.. i never give up.

just because i dont fail doesnt mean i succeed. it means that i dont fail.

if i never give up.. i wont fail. however for me.. thats not good enough..

anyone can not fail.. its the successful ones that i wanna share a bottle of wine with.

success is a mindset, a belief system, a choice.

so before you start going to the gym, or you start that new fancy shmancy diet that the general public has been sweapt up in.. make sure youre actually going to go through with it before you waste your time energy and money on it..

i mean..sure.. i guess experiencing some is better than experiencing none.. as long as that was my purpose. but i dont wanna just experience music, guitar riffs, lyrics, notes, walkdowns, build ups, bridges, octaves, fifths, power chords, harmonys, pre chorus, alternate melodies, out of tune, dead betteries, wireless guitar systems, songs that make me cry, songs that remind me about my past, songs i can fall asleep to,... i dont wanna experience these things.. i wanna live those things.. eat and breathe those things.. cause without the dead batteries in a flange pedal or a D string that constantly finds itself outta tune.. i wouldnt be able to appreciate the times that we dont have dead batteries or when every string is in perfect tune..

good times..

musical samurai...

and on that note.. imma bounce..

talk at you soon.

`b`stilios out