inspiration..
its a scary think inspiration is...
its the solitary motivational tool for any artist...
more important that the pen, the paper, the guitar and even the vocals... its something that comes around when it comes around... and falsifying inspiration is like eating toastie o's instead of cherrios... you can just tell the difference... it lacks substance, depth, and it they just taste funny.
i guess i kinda use this blog as a bit of a journal but i am motivated by some friends to keep this shit updated every now and again... so i think what im gonna do is put some of my writings in here...
I sit at outback pretty much every night and time and time again waste away item tickets which are about 3" x 5" and we use the to put in certain orders... however they are blank on the back... so i use that to my advantage... brb..
okay.. imma only put one on here... some of em are pretty long...
this is just thoughts spilled out onto paper.. so nothin in stone... if you dont like it.. Bug Off!!! :)
==================================================================
shadows keep my company
dreams are dreampt of you and me
ive never knows your name before
but youre just what im lookin for
friends of mine from 44
keep me from cryin' anymore as...
-tables turn i lie awake
-my broken heart i pray you take
-and mend it up with one soft kiss
-that lingeres like a morning mist
as pillows keep your company
you squeeze them tight and dream of me
youve never known my name before
but im just what youre lookin for
friends of your from years before
keep you from cryin anymore as...
-tables turn i lie awake
-my broken heart i pray you take
-and mend it up with one soft kiss
-that lingeres like a morning mist
as our love keeps our company
i look at you as you look at me
i never thought you mend my heart
and put together what was blown apart
as i placed my kiss upon your shoulder
our new love will never faulter...
...i found you...
i found you my missing piece
as you look at me your hearts at peace as..
-tables turn, we lie awake
-our broken hearts have gained their strength
-with one soft kiss i finally found
-what i though i would always miss
...so if youd fall i'd follow you down and I'd race like superman down to the ground....through smokey fires I'd shield my eyes and catch your fallen heart.
===============================================
so yeah "insiration"... my favorite 10 letter word beggining with "i" aside from "istanbul" "ignite" and... line..backer.
what?
:) well 11:21 and someone needs to go and get a bowl of toastie o's... Ha ... no no im just kidding..
they're cheerios.. no! they really are dammit!!!.. the real ones!!! No, You Cant have any!!! these are MY tiny lifeboats of multigrain goodness packed with vitamins and minerals that are proven to reduce the risk of heart disease or something like that..
get your own you Cheerio Nazi!!! back up bitch!
anyways like i was saying before i was so RUDELY interrupted..
...huh hmm...
someone needs to go and get a bowl of whole grain goodness..
...Strong Bad needs to go and get a bowl of whole grain goodness..
until then my fellow blogmen and blogladies... ridding the world of boring ass journal entries about lil doggies and purple parachutes!!!
This is BillyFloydDotCom Up .. Up and Awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!
hasta la pasta!
Monday, June 28, 2004
Sunday, June 27, 2004
Hey Crapface! Why don't you blow it out your ear....
1:05 p.m.
Okay...
hmm...what to write about...what to write...about...
somebody give me some inspiration...
1:10 p.m.
...sorry guys still no inspiration...
1:11 p.m.
my friend justin is sitting on my big bean bag chair reading a "how to" book on the guitar and my friend Jenn is chatting with me about the show on the 16th of july...
1:13 p.m.
ok... heres somethin...i think...
Soooo... I get my apple juice and i get my Eggo waffles with my hickory syrup and my fork on my paper plate...
(so i dont have to wash anything! Ha!)
Take that Cascade!!! I dont need you anymore!!! WHAT!?
I get all comfy in my bed, fans on, air conditioner is at a perfect 74 degrees... justin keeps talkin'... he's funny...
i got the pillow on my lap and the laptop on my... umm... lap.. too... lap..top.. yes.. umm okay...
umm. yeah.
anyways.. i am all settled in and shitake with my remotes and my cell phone all set in an orderly fashion in order of rarely used to somewhat used to mostly used... i take a nice bite of waffles and go to take a drink of my refreshing apple juice.. and..
wait-a-minute!!!...
where my apple juice..
oh no... it cant be..
anywhere but there. no... say it aint so...
it's standing there on my dresser all sweaty and yummy looking, staring, judging... that crispy, tasty beverage laughing at me knowing that my go-go-gadget arms are off on sundays... of all days!!! the A.J. has to be on the dresser...
btw.. i knew a girl named a.j. in highschool.. she was blonde and yeah.. i guess thats it...
okay...
so now im left with this dilema...
i dont want to move... everything is perfectly set... all of it.. cept for dat damn apple juice.. grrr..
so do i move and hope that i can find the comfort zones again? do i grin and bare it hoping that the waffles dont suck up every ounce of moisture in my mouth leaving me to wallow in an unspeakable world unable to make any kind of rational sound and in the end deterioriorrrrating into nothingness having nothing to do but blog!!! Rotting in this endless wasteland hoping and praying that in that time i will acquire the power of the force!!! and be able to move objects with my mind..
hand outstretched and fingertips shaking... i focus on the apple juice i imagine myself standing over its fruity goodness, smelling its aromaticness.. visions of apples orchards and waves of apple juice crashing over me as i stand there braced against the waves with nothing but an empty fruit box!!!
...whew...
well, here we are.. the waffles are gone... nothing is left but the remnants of the syrup that i couldnt pick up with the fork slipping through the tongs just fast enough to hit the plate before i could rush it to my lips...and since i wanted to avoid getting syrup on my laptop, i couldnt tilt the plate sideways licking the rest of the sticky sweetness off and savorying every sugary drop...
and i lay.. still in the bed, still with the pillow on my lap and my laptop... on my.. umm... lap.. yeah. remotes a lil dustier than before, cellie-the-cell-phone, still poised in readiness
justin is still talking... hes funny..
and the apple juice is standing tall like the tower of power that it has come to be known as...
alas...
...Someone need to go and eat a eggo waffle.
Strong Bad need to go and eat an eggo waffle...
---cast---
Cellie-the-cell-phone as himself
Lappy-the-laptop as himself
Motts Apple Juice as The Tower of Power!!!
Pillow as Pillow
Justin as Himself
umm and ...
producers, and key grips, lighting, directors and stuff...
billyfloyddotcom!!!!
http://homestarrunner.com/sbemail50.html
Leggo My Eggo Bitch!
Okay...
hmm...what to write about...what to write...about...
somebody give me some inspiration...
1:10 p.m.
...sorry guys still no inspiration...
1:11 p.m.
my friend justin is sitting on my big bean bag chair reading a "how to" book on the guitar and my friend Jenn is chatting with me about the show on the 16th of july...
1:13 p.m.
ok... heres somethin...i think...
Soooo... I get my apple juice and i get my Eggo waffles with my hickory syrup and my fork on my paper plate...
(so i dont have to wash anything! Ha!)
Take that Cascade!!! I dont need you anymore!!! WHAT!?
I get all comfy in my bed, fans on, air conditioner is at a perfect 74 degrees... justin keeps talkin'... he's funny...
i got the pillow on my lap and the laptop on my... umm... lap.. too... lap..top.. yes.. umm okay...
umm. yeah.
anyways.. i am all settled in and shitake with my remotes and my cell phone all set in an orderly fashion in order of rarely used to somewhat used to mostly used... i take a nice bite of waffles and go to take a drink of my refreshing apple juice.. and..
wait-a-minute!!!...
where my apple juice..
oh no... it cant be..
anywhere but there. no... say it aint so...
it's standing there on my dresser all sweaty and yummy looking, staring, judging... that crispy, tasty beverage laughing at me knowing that my go-go-gadget arms are off on sundays... of all days!!! the A.J. has to be on the dresser...
btw.. i knew a girl named a.j. in highschool.. she was blonde and yeah.. i guess thats it...
okay...
so now im left with this dilema...
i dont want to move... everything is perfectly set... all of it.. cept for dat damn apple juice.. grrr..
so do i move and hope that i can find the comfort zones again? do i grin and bare it hoping that the waffles dont suck up every ounce of moisture in my mouth leaving me to wallow in an unspeakable world unable to make any kind of rational sound and in the end deterioriorrrrating into nothingness having nothing to do but blog!!! Rotting in this endless wasteland hoping and praying that in that time i will acquire the power of the force!!! and be able to move objects with my mind..
hand outstretched and fingertips shaking... i focus on the apple juice i imagine myself standing over its fruity goodness, smelling its aromaticness.. visions of apples orchards and waves of apple juice crashing over me as i stand there braced against the waves with nothing but an empty fruit box!!!
...whew...
well, here we are.. the waffles are gone... nothing is left but the remnants of the syrup that i couldnt pick up with the fork slipping through the tongs just fast enough to hit the plate before i could rush it to my lips...and since i wanted to avoid getting syrup on my laptop, i couldnt tilt the plate sideways licking the rest of the sticky sweetness off and savorying every sugary drop...
and i lay.. still in the bed, still with the pillow on my lap and my laptop... on my.. umm... lap.. yeah. remotes a lil dustier than before, cellie-the-cell-phone, still poised in readiness
justin is still talking... hes funny..
and the apple juice is standing tall like the tower of power that it has come to be known as...
alas...
...Someone need to go and eat a eggo waffle.
Strong Bad need to go and eat an eggo waffle...
---cast---
Cellie-the-cell-phone as himself
Lappy-the-laptop as himself
Motts Apple Juice as The Tower of Power!!!
Pillow as Pillow
Justin as Himself
umm and ...
producers, and key grips, lighting, directors and stuff...
billyfloyddotcom!!!!
http://homestarrunner.com/sbemail50.html
Leggo My Eggo Bitch!
Saturday, June 19, 2004
...in the cold, dark night with the scoreboard lit..
So I had a bunch of dreams last night but one of them sticks out in my mind still.
...I was at a restaurant with some friends and as they were finishing up their conversation I went for a lil walk around.
They were all roommates and were talking about roommate stuff so I found myself some time to do whatever.
I walked around for a bit and then about 15 minuntes into my wondering I met two lovely ladies so I began a convo with them... talking to the two who seemed to be in their 60's about life in general, just this, that, and the other. Work and Family, Schooling, Laughter.. etc.
After about 10 min later my friends came around the corner and were ready to go...
One of the friends, we'll call her Joelle, was... I guess my "interest" in this dream and i could tell that their convo had been a lil draining...
So I opened the door for everyone and no one was really talking as we walked outside. It was about 7:00 in the evening so the sun was still out but going down and that kept the air at about 80 so it was a nice evening...lil on the warm side.
As we walked through the parking lot there was zero convo so I decided to take matters into my own hands.. I was thinking to myself.. "self, what can you do to lighten the tension and freshen the convo?..." so without a second thought I put my hands in the air and started yelling at a pretty loud volume.. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! and running around... but damn it was really loud.. i knew i wasnt yelling that loud...
so the next thing i know is i look over and joelle is doing the same thing.. hands in the air running opposite me and we were kinda crossing each others paths running to the car...
That was so awesome for me... we had started that at the same time.. no prewarning, we didnt talk about it we just threw our hands in the air and started yellin...
well after we made it to the car we stopped screamin and just kinda looked at each other with smiles on... no words were spoken, i just walked up and gave her a hug. she hugged me back but i guess she didnt feel that comfortable so she kinda pulled away... she did so just enough to where we could look at each other and then... she kissed me.
*and it felt better that great, even better than perfect... it felt like... home. and there is no greater feeling.
The End
So I guess I've been single for a few months now, but it doesnt really feel like it. I guess it kinda feels that way when the heart is involved. It's almost like I have to keep reminding myself that I am single... I have to do it every morning though and that kinda sucks...
It's kinda like having amnesia and everytime I wake up the doctor has to tell me for the first time that my babydoll is gone...and I guess it hits me pretty hard. However, my doctor isn't a guy dressed in white with a lil clipboard... its a lonley pillow, untouched through the night and still cold. with no impression from a sleeping head or bunched up for comfort.. just by itself and it feels like it has been for years...
This is one of those learning times... A time where I get to turn the magnifying glass to me and focus on my life which is something I have forgotten how to do... i just prefer to have someone i truly love to take care of... to look after, not because they need it...but because I care for them so much I couldnt bare anything happening to them and I want to do my best to make sure everyday they laugh and smile as much as possible...
Damn, it feels like an eternity...
I seem to always forget all the bad things, pushed them from my mind so they dont hurt anymore...the names, the arguments, the bitterness, the manipulation, the lies and lack of faith...
They scarred me... so why would i want to remember them?
Well one reason is so I don't let it happen again... I haven't done too well in the past in remembering the bad and because of that i let hope blind me and tryed to paint over the bad parts with "I'm sorries" and "I love you's" thinking that those words would cover up the bad parts and we could move on...
but just like anything... time wears everything down and slowly but surely those bad parts started to show through the freshly painted surface and the most horrifying thing was that i could see it coming and there was nothing i could do. I didnt have the strength to walk away, so i prepared myself for the storm... I stood out in front of it, staring at it, knowing it was coming and bracing myself for the impact...hoping that this time i could stand the rain, it wont knock me down this time, there is no way, I already know what it feels like and that i can brave it.
When is came, it came like a Fully-Loaded Tractor Trailer breaking the sound barrier, taking no prisoners and totally destroying everything in its path... But I didnt move, I gritted my teeth and clenched my fist and made sure my eyes were wide open.
I WAS NOT MOVING!!!
I dug my feet in the earth and stared at this "NOTHING", this destructive force that existed only in emotion... greater that rockets and missles, greater than Texas Size Asteroids, greater than atomic bombs... this was the most destructive creation the world has ever known, and it was barreling towards me so fast it blurred the sky... like heat rising from a surface that's so hot it distorts the world around it... I braced myself for the force of this blow... and it smiled at me and sped up...
I knew what was going to happen, but for some reason I was hoping that it would change its mind, i was hoping it would realize what it was about to do and stop just short of me... This time it will be different, this time its gonna stop I know it! I believe it! This can't happen. this won't happen. Not again... its gonna stop Im not lettin it happen again, I got my defense up... braced for impact knowing that I have the strength to beat it...
I'm not even sure how it happened or when it happened but I know now, that i was wrong...
Before I knew it that Truck hit me without flinching and it made sure it was going as fast as possible when it did. I didnt stand a chance... It hit me like i wasnt even there and kept going. So here I am 4 months later still remembering the very second it hit and exactly how i felt.
Have you ever seen a really hard hit on a football field, one of those hits where it jolts you in your seat, one of those where even from a distance it hurt you to watch it?
Imagine getting hit by a guy that weighs 16,000 pounds running at 90 MPH and youre only 140 and holding on for dear life, feet dug in the earth, hands outstretched standing your ground... He's gonna hit you even harder for gettin in his way...
But at the end of the night, when the game is over and the field is clear, the lockerrooms empty, the stadium lights still lit and the score still on the scoreboard... the stands empty except for the banners prepared with love and made to ispire victory, the air horns abandoned by their owners, the remnents of hot dog crumbs and drink bottles, a few forgotten articles of clothing and napkins carried aross the seats by the wind... there I stood on the 50 yard line knowing i did my best, knowing i didnt run, knowing that others have, but i didn't.. because i said i wouldnt. I promised I wouldnt run, I promised I wouldnt give up, I promised that through thick and thin i would brace it, I would endure it and I did... even though i was alone, I did what i said I was going to do... But I couldnt stop the others from running away...so there i stood in the cold, dark night with the scoreboard lit..
Visitor 5
Home 0.
I played my best game ever, id never tried so hard... but it wasnt enough...
So what happens next?
I get to the field a little earlier tomorrow, lace up and get ready to do it all over again.
that's what happens next.
~Billy
10:36 a.m. 06/19/04
...I was at a restaurant with some friends and as they were finishing up their conversation I went for a lil walk around.
They were all roommates and were talking about roommate stuff so I found myself some time to do whatever.
I walked around for a bit and then about 15 minuntes into my wondering I met two lovely ladies so I began a convo with them... talking to the two who seemed to be in their 60's about life in general, just this, that, and the other. Work and Family, Schooling, Laughter.. etc.
After about 10 min later my friends came around the corner and were ready to go...
One of the friends, we'll call her Joelle, was... I guess my "interest" in this dream and i could tell that their convo had been a lil draining...
So I opened the door for everyone and no one was really talking as we walked outside. It was about 7:00 in the evening so the sun was still out but going down and that kept the air at about 80 so it was a nice evening...lil on the warm side.
As we walked through the parking lot there was zero convo so I decided to take matters into my own hands.. I was thinking to myself.. "self, what can you do to lighten the tension and freshen the convo?..." so without a second thought I put my hands in the air and started yelling at a pretty loud volume.. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! and running around... but damn it was really loud.. i knew i wasnt yelling that loud...
so the next thing i know is i look over and joelle is doing the same thing.. hands in the air running opposite me and we were kinda crossing each others paths running to the car...
That was so awesome for me... we had started that at the same time.. no prewarning, we didnt talk about it we just threw our hands in the air and started yellin...
well after we made it to the car we stopped screamin and just kinda looked at each other with smiles on... no words were spoken, i just walked up and gave her a hug. she hugged me back but i guess she didnt feel that comfortable so she kinda pulled away... she did so just enough to where we could look at each other and then... she kissed me.
*and it felt better that great, even better than perfect... it felt like... home. and there is no greater feeling.
The End
So I guess I've been single for a few months now, but it doesnt really feel like it. I guess it kinda feels that way when the heart is involved. It's almost like I have to keep reminding myself that I am single... I have to do it every morning though and that kinda sucks...
It's kinda like having amnesia and everytime I wake up the doctor has to tell me for the first time that my babydoll is gone...and I guess it hits me pretty hard. However, my doctor isn't a guy dressed in white with a lil clipboard... its a lonley pillow, untouched through the night and still cold. with no impression from a sleeping head or bunched up for comfort.. just by itself and it feels like it has been for years...
This is one of those learning times... A time where I get to turn the magnifying glass to me and focus on my life which is something I have forgotten how to do... i just prefer to have someone i truly love to take care of... to look after, not because they need it...but because I care for them so much I couldnt bare anything happening to them and I want to do my best to make sure everyday they laugh and smile as much as possible...
Damn, it feels like an eternity...
I seem to always forget all the bad things, pushed them from my mind so they dont hurt anymore...the names, the arguments, the bitterness, the manipulation, the lies and lack of faith...
They scarred me... so why would i want to remember them?
Well one reason is so I don't let it happen again... I haven't done too well in the past in remembering the bad and because of that i let hope blind me and tryed to paint over the bad parts with "I'm sorries" and "I love you's" thinking that those words would cover up the bad parts and we could move on...
but just like anything... time wears everything down and slowly but surely those bad parts started to show through the freshly painted surface and the most horrifying thing was that i could see it coming and there was nothing i could do. I didnt have the strength to walk away, so i prepared myself for the storm... I stood out in front of it, staring at it, knowing it was coming and bracing myself for the impact...hoping that this time i could stand the rain, it wont knock me down this time, there is no way, I already know what it feels like and that i can brave it.
When is came, it came like a Fully-Loaded Tractor Trailer breaking the sound barrier, taking no prisoners and totally destroying everything in its path... But I didnt move, I gritted my teeth and clenched my fist and made sure my eyes were wide open.
I WAS NOT MOVING!!!
I dug my feet in the earth and stared at this "NOTHING", this destructive force that existed only in emotion... greater that rockets and missles, greater than Texas Size Asteroids, greater than atomic bombs... this was the most destructive creation the world has ever known, and it was barreling towards me so fast it blurred the sky... like heat rising from a surface that's so hot it distorts the world around it... I braced myself for the force of this blow... and it smiled at me and sped up...
I knew what was going to happen, but for some reason I was hoping that it would change its mind, i was hoping it would realize what it was about to do and stop just short of me... This time it will be different, this time its gonna stop I know it! I believe it! This can't happen. this won't happen. Not again... its gonna stop Im not lettin it happen again, I got my defense up... braced for impact knowing that I have the strength to beat it...
I'm not even sure how it happened or when it happened but I know now, that i was wrong...
Before I knew it that Truck hit me without flinching and it made sure it was going as fast as possible when it did. I didnt stand a chance... It hit me like i wasnt even there and kept going. So here I am 4 months later still remembering the very second it hit and exactly how i felt.
Have you ever seen a really hard hit on a football field, one of those hits where it jolts you in your seat, one of those where even from a distance it hurt you to watch it?
Imagine getting hit by a guy that weighs 16,000 pounds running at 90 MPH and youre only 140 and holding on for dear life, feet dug in the earth, hands outstretched standing your ground... He's gonna hit you even harder for gettin in his way...
But at the end of the night, when the game is over and the field is clear, the lockerrooms empty, the stadium lights still lit and the score still on the scoreboard... the stands empty except for the banners prepared with love and made to ispire victory, the air horns abandoned by their owners, the remnents of hot dog crumbs and drink bottles, a few forgotten articles of clothing and napkins carried aross the seats by the wind... there I stood on the 50 yard line knowing i did my best, knowing i didnt run, knowing that others have, but i didn't.. because i said i wouldnt. I promised I wouldnt run, I promised I wouldnt give up, I promised that through thick and thin i would brace it, I would endure it and I did... even though i was alone, I did what i said I was going to do... But I couldnt stop the others from running away...so there i stood in the cold, dark night with the scoreboard lit..
Visitor 5
Home 0.
I played my best game ever, id never tried so hard... but it wasnt enough...
So what happens next?
I get to the field a little earlier tomorrow, lace up and get ready to do it all over again.
that's what happens next.
~Billy
10:36 a.m. 06/19/04
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
Fate and Destiny
So I mean seriously... Who Believes in this Fate and Destiny crap!? Who in their right mind would believe everything happens for a reason... There's a reason that you crashed your sisters mustang on the way back from picking up your girlfriend at the airport after you promised to be safe with it and even though you were.. BAM! Accident!
There's a reason for everything... I mean common people!!! What kinda hokie crap is that?!
Well I have no idea. But I believe it. And I believe it completely. I do believe that everything happens for a reason, i do believe that I am where I am right now at this very moment typing this blog because I am supposed to be.
"A lot of the times we spend so much time searching for the reason that something happened, that we miss the opportunity that the event offered us." ~pbf
It feels as if sometimes I can't do enough, that no matter what i do... I can do more... no matter what i do I can give someone more, make someone laugh harder, make them smile bigger... love someone better.
work harder! play harder! sing louder!
truth is I can't "make" anyone do or feel anything.
When is enough enough!?
theres only one person that can answer that...
...me.
i guess enough is enough when i am happy, but in order to do that I must find the things that can lead me to happiness, bliss, comfort, and contentment...
And I found it.
"Only after losing everything will I find anything."
I didnt necessarily lose anything.. I gave it up. I gave up my dreams, my wishes, who i was, and who i was turning into, the friends i had made, my goals, and aspirations, my wants, and desires, my time, my money and most of all my heart. I carefully packed it in a little box, wrapped it up and marked it with a "J". And I traded it for one thing...
I knew I should have kept that damn receipt, I knew i should of just tucked it away in my wallet for a rainy day.. Just in case I ever needed to return it, in case it broke I could take it back and get another one, trade it out for one thats not broken. Or maybe even get the latest model when they come out so Im not stuck with this old one that doesnt have the latest and greatest bells and whistles... But I didnt...
I threw the receipt away on purpose. I was happy with my one thing... I didnt want or need anything else and I was learning so much. I had given up everything for this one thing and I was working so hard to be the best i could be. I had alot to learn, yes..but, I was willing to. I was willing to endure the questions and the scary nights and tears and fights and worrysome dark and lonley distance. I was willing to sacrifice whatever I needed to to make this one thing the best it could possibly be. Nothing is perfect but I was going to try my best... I was gonna do everything I could. Break through walls, climb over barriers painfully maybe even dangerously.. But I was gonna do it and I did!!! :) I did all those things! Everything...
however in the end... My one thing wound up not happy.. something was wrong with it.. so time and time again I changed more, I gave more, i tried harder, i worked harder... never had i ever put so much love, attention, time, patience, trust, faith, commitment, dedication and tears into anything at all...
but it didnt matter... the choice was not mine. So there I was on a rainy morning trying to answer lifes questions.. Why!? Why did it not work? what more could I have done?.. I did everything I knew how to do and then some. I gave everything I had and then when it was all gone, I found different ways to give more, different ways to say more, to be there more, to sacrifice more... but still it wasnt enough.
Of course I made mistakes along the way... of course I did. Im human, it happens and yes some of them were pretty big mistakes and I learned from them. I took responsiblity and apologized. I taugh myself how to think before I acted. I was learning how to think before I spoke but yes sometimes emotion took over and it got the best of me.
"Mistakes are the stepping stones to knowledge." ~pbf
And I have to say I had a lot of stepping stones... but I had never learned so much in my life. The little tiny things are my favorite...
However here I am back at ground Zero packing carefully and thinking intently on what I am going to put in the box this time, how im gonna pack it, wrap it and what im going to mark it with. Who am i gonna give it I to? And hopefully I wont cringe too much when I give it away... because last time i did... the only thing they gave me was time, alot of time... to think, to learn to pray, to talk,and to spend... alone.
And for that I can only say...
"So tired of wakin' so tired of doin it again, so tired of believing in the things that you just dont believe in. so tired of wakin and early mornings and sweat pouring down my face so take my hands and kiss my lips and fall to my embrace...
just fall to me baby, let yourself go, let yourself fly, just let-your-self-feel-it...
fall right down... to my embrace
numbers are ringin and water is fallin as the night swims past my feet, hands are movin just like a contusion, yes, this second hand takes my life away. so hurry and join me cause cryin and lonely at night is just no place to be. So take my hands and kiss away these fears that plague me.
just fall to me baby, let yourself go let yourself fly, just let-your-self-feel-it...
fall right down... to my embrace."
==================================================================
love is the power that turns the world, that warms our homes and lights our hearts ablaze... dont ever give up on love, it will never give up on you.
i had a dream last night.. an incredible dream, a dream i havent dreamt in quite a while.. and it was very nice... though it will stay a dream at least i know i can find bliss in the dream world. i love dreams.
maybe next time...
Well, someone needs to go and get some left over macaronis...
...Strong Bad needs to go and get some left over macaronis.
~Billy
"To Da Moooooooooooooooooooooooooooon!"
10:39a.m.
the 5 people you meet in heaven - Mitch Albom
The opinions expressed herein this blog are those of the author Billy Floyd and are not necessarily those of the Center for Mental Health and Chronic Blogging Services...
If at anytime you feel offended please be sure to notify your ass @ billyoffendedmeandmyass@assoffender.org
any misspelled words were done so on purpose :)
Prove me wrong bitch!
lata.
inspirations:
one thing - finger eleven
in the end - linkin park
my embrace - pbf
There's a reason for everything... I mean common people!!! What kinda hokie crap is that?!
Well I have no idea. But I believe it. And I believe it completely. I do believe that everything happens for a reason, i do believe that I am where I am right now at this very moment typing this blog because I am supposed to be.
"A lot of the times we spend so much time searching for the reason that something happened, that we miss the opportunity that the event offered us." ~pbf
It feels as if sometimes I can't do enough, that no matter what i do... I can do more... no matter what i do I can give someone more, make someone laugh harder, make them smile bigger... love someone better.
work harder! play harder! sing louder!
truth is I can't "make" anyone do or feel anything.
When is enough enough!?
theres only one person that can answer that...
...me.
i guess enough is enough when i am happy, but in order to do that I must find the things that can lead me to happiness, bliss, comfort, and contentment...
And I found it.
"Only after losing everything will I find anything."
I didnt necessarily lose anything.. I gave it up. I gave up my dreams, my wishes, who i was, and who i was turning into, the friends i had made, my goals, and aspirations, my wants, and desires, my time, my money and most of all my heart. I carefully packed it in a little box, wrapped it up and marked it with a "J". And I traded it for one thing...
I knew I should have kept that damn receipt, I knew i should of just tucked it away in my wallet for a rainy day.. Just in case I ever needed to return it, in case it broke I could take it back and get another one, trade it out for one thats not broken. Or maybe even get the latest model when they come out so Im not stuck with this old one that doesnt have the latest and greatest bells and whistles... But I didnt...
I threw the receipt away on purpose. I was happy with my one thing... I didnt want or need anything else and I was learning so much. I had given up everything for this one thing and I was working so hard to be the best i could be. I had alot to learn, yes..but, I was willing to. I was willing to endure the questions and the scary nights and tears and fights and worrysome dark and lonley distance. I was willing to sacrifice whatever I needed to to make this one thing the best it could possibly be. Nothing is perfect but I was going to try my best... I was gonna do everything I could. Break through walls, climb over barriers painfully maybe even dangerously.. But I was gonna do it and I did!!! :) I did all those things! Everything...
however in the end... My one thing wound up not happy.. something was wrong with it.. so time and time again I changed more, I gave more, i tried harder, i worked harder... never had i ever put so much love, attention, time, patience, trust, faith, commitment, dedication and tears into anything at all...
but it didnt matter... the choice was not mine. So there I was on a rainy morning trying to answer lifes questions.. Why!? Why did it not work? what more could I have done?.. I did everything I knew how to do and then some. I gave everything I had and then when it was all gone, I found different ways to give more, different ways to say more, to be there more, to sacrifice more... but still it wasnt enough.
Of course I made mistakes along the way... of course I did. Im human, it happens and yes some of them were pretty big mistakes and I learned from them. I took responsiblity and apologized. I taugh myself how to think before I acted. I was learning how to think before I spoke but yes sometimes emotion took over and it got the best of me.
"Mistakes are the stepping stones to knowledge." ~pbf
And I have to say I had a lot of stepping stones... but I had never learned so much in my life. The little tiny things are my favorite...
However here I am back at ground Zero packing carefully and thinking intently on what I am going to put in the box this time, how im gonna pack it, wrap it and what im going to mark it with. Who am i gonna give it I to? And hopefully I wont cringe too much when I give it away... because last time i did... the only thing they gave me was time, alot of time... to think, to learn to pray, to talk,and to spend... alone.
And for that I can only say...
"So tired of wakin' so tired of doin it again, so tired of believing in the things that you just dont believe in. so tired of wakin and early mornings and sweat pouring down my face so take my hands and kiss my lips and fall to my embrace...
just fall to me baby, let yourself go, let yourself fly, just let-your-self-feel-it...
fall right down... to my embrace
numbers are ringin and water is fallin as the night swims past my feet, hands are movin just like a contusion, yes, this second hand takes my life away. so hurry and join me cause cryin and lonely at night is just no place to be. So take my hands and kiss away these fears that plague me.
just fall to me baby, let yourself go let yourself fly, just let-your-self-feel-it...
fall right down... to my embrace."
==================================================================
love is the power that turns the world, that warms our homes and lights our hearts ablaze... dont ever give up on love, it will never give up on you.
i had a dream last night.. an incredible dream, a dream i havent dreamt in quite a while.. and it was very nice... though it will stay a dream at least i know i can find bliss in the dream world. i love dreams.
maybe next time...
Well, someone needs to go and get some left over macaronis...
...Strong Bad needs to go and get some left over macaronis.
~Billy
"To Da Moooooooooooooooooooooooooooon!"
10:39a.m.
the 5 people you meet in heaven - Mitch Albom
The opinions expressed herein this blog are those of the author Billy Floyd and are not necessarily those of the Center for Mental Health and Chronic Blogging Services...
If at anytime you feel offended please be sure to notify your ass @ billyoffendedmeandmyass@assoffender.org
any misspelled words were done so on purpose :)
Prove me wrong bitch!
lata.
inspirations:
one thing - finger eleven
in the end - linkin park
my embrace - pbf
Sunday, June 13, 2004
Chris and Bruce, you lazy bastards :)
Okay ... So check this... I understand I need to separate professional from personal but for some reason Bruce Hunter @(immadumbass@dumbass.net) and Chris Adams @(immaevenbiggerdumbass@dumbass.net) have apparently nothing better to do than throw stones on my forum...
Although they lack the testicular fortitude to make these comments to anyone in person..
[[[or maybe they just lack testicles... yeah... i think to have any testicular fortitude at all, one needs to have testicles to begin with]]]
anyways...
instead.. they sit in their own Pull-Me-Up-Pampers with their thumbs in each others mouths all pissed off because I ATE BRUCE HUNTER ALIVE IN COURT AND I WASNT EVEN TRYIN'!!!
Bruce, you waste of human flesh... Hitler should have made you a fucking lamp shade... Take ME to court?! HA! too funny.. try it again bitch and this time the judge wont just laugh at you.. he'll actually come over and stab you in the eye with his pen like he said he was gonna go... or maybe just for laughs he'll come deficate on your head... now that would be funny.. and it could only help bruce.. i mean.. common we all know it :)
LOSER... CLOWN ZERO... GROW UP. :) please. or dont grow up and we'll have mommy get you a lil meat helmet to wear and a lil matching meat spatchula to run around the house with in your Under-roos.. but first STOP! we are gonna havta Bruce-Proof it so you dont hurt yourself you clumsy bastard. I mean.. it's like you stuck an electric mixer up your nose and turned that shit to "LIQUIFY". dumbass.. im suprised you can form complete sentences without having some sort of chemical breakdown...
And for what you said in the forum.. thats fine.. i dont really care but it makes for good fodder on my blog.. so for that thank you :)
And Chris.. chris chris chris...shit.. how do you say lost cause in "dumass" cause thats the only language this kid speaks..."dumbass dumbass dumbass dumbass dumbass dumbass dumbass dumbass dumbass dumbass dumbass dumbass dumbass dumbass ." Didja get all that?!
Bro lemme comment on your oh-so-thought-out remarks...
first of all you dropped out of college... loser... and why? Was it a conscious choice? Noooo.. you're just an idiot. thats pretty much the gist of it...
and youre home with your mom because you're not man enough to accept the responsibility of your own mistakes you arrogant little shit. Youre gonna log onto MY webforum and talk shit about ME? LOL! please do us all a favor.. either grow up or jump off something really tall and hit the ground really hard. Hopefully you continue to have trouble growing up and you just decide to end it all:) and while youre busy struggling to grow up hit k-mart lane 7 blue light special and grab a brain and a life. And please, please, please keep talkin shit about me:) gives me something to laugh at when i get home from work.. but please...limit your "GENIOUS" (LOL) comments because youre takin' up bandwith on Xeno's server...
You're a hater! Ha! So is Bruce.. HATER HATER HATER!!! :) and you know what?! GOOD!!! IM GLAD!!! JOIN THE CLUB... I been sayin that shit for years... JOIN THE CLUB. Think I lose sleep at night cause... Waaaah!!! Waaaah!!! Chris' vagina hurts... oh Boo fuckin Hoo. nnnnnoooOOOOOOO! I sleep soundly at night knowing that you are a lil bitch and for you and your anal amigo Bruce to actually take the time to create an account on my website and then for some odd reason think that for a second there is a soul on this earth that gives a shit about what you have to think.. let alone what you have to say or for that matter if you wake up tomorrow....thats just frivilous..
www.dictionary.com look it up stupid.. maybe if you actually finished a class instead of just quitting all the time you may understand the big words i use in these blogs.. like...
Gelotinous, and Fangoriously.. and line..backer.
I feel sorry for the keyboards you were using...
Your keyboards are so embarrased by the stupid shit you guys type I heard they were gonna strike... all the keys are just gonna jump off the board and run away...hiding under any kind of 'educational material' cause God knows you probably cant even spell "material"; common chris give it a try....
(Chris): ...okay billy.. Uhhh...Umm.. "N"?
(Billy): sigh* no, almost chris... It kinda sounds like "N" but
its not "N" it's....
(Chris): ..umm...lets go with.. uhh..."K"?
(Billy): No chris.. I said it kinda sounds like "N"
(Chris): okie dokie.. sorry.. umm. uhh... "F"?
(Billy): ..................no
(Chris): what was the question?
(Billy): Are you a dumbass?
(Chris): A what?...
(Billy): ***leaves room
(Chris): Huh...what just happened?.. oh Lookie.. glue.. yummm..
So yeah..
the more you want to see me fail, The Harder I Will try... The More Ill Work and the louder I WILL LAUGH:) Bitches...
lol
for those of you that dont know.. the below link will offer you the option of looking at the web-forum..
www.billyfloyd.com...
till next time ladies, gentleman, children of all ages and the lumps of horse dung that has somehow managed to take the shape of two useless human beings called Chris Adams and Bruce Hunter...
Well, Someone needs to go and get a bowl of cinnamon oatmeal...
Strong Bad needs to go get a bowl of cinnamon oatmeal...
~BIlly
BTW to everyone who responded to Ace and Gary's remarks.. I cant thank you enough...
2:16 a.m.
Although they lack the testicular fortitude to make these comments to anyone in person..
[[[or maybe they just lack testicles... yeah... i think to have any testicular fortitude at all, one needs to have testicles to begin with]]]
anyways...
instead.. they sit in their own Pull-Me-Up-Pampers with their thumbs in each others mouths all pissed off because I ATE BRUCE HUNTER ALIVE IN COURT AND I WASNT EVEN TRYIN'!!!
Bruce, you waste of human flesh... Hitler should have made you a fucking lamp shade... Take ME to court?! HA! too funny.. try it again bitch and this time the judge wont just laugh at you.. he'll actually come over and stab you in the eye with his pen like he said he was gonna go... or maybe just for laughs he'll come deficate on your head... now that would be funny.. and it could only help bruce.. i mean.. common we all know it :)
LOSER... CLOWN ZERO... GROW UP. :) please. or dont grow up and we'll have mommy get you a lil meat helmet to wear and a lil matching meat spatchula to run around the house with in your Under-roos.. but first STOP! we are gonna havta Bruce-Proof it so you dont hurt yourself you clumsy bastard. I mean.. it's like you stuck an electric mixer up your nose and turned that shit to "LIQUIFY". dumbass.. im suprised you can form complete sentences without having some sort of chemical breakdown...
And for what you said in the forum.. thats fine.. i dont really care but it makes for good fodder on my blog.. so for that thank you :)
And Chris.. chris chris chris...shit.. how do you say lost cause in "dumass" cause thats the only language this kid speaks..."dumbass dumbass dumbass dumbass dumbass dumbass dumbass dumbass dumbass dumbass dumbass dumbass dumbass dumbass ." Didja get all that?!
Bro lemme comment on your oh-so-thought-out remarks...
first of all you dropped out of college... loser... and why? Was it a conscious choice? Noooo.. you're just an idiot. thats pretty much the gist of it...
and youre home with your mom because you're not man enough to accept the responsibility of your own mistakes you arrogant little shit. Youre gonna log onto MY webforum and talk shit about ME? LOL! please do us all a favor.. either grow up or jump off something really tall and hit the ground really hard. Hopefully you continue to have trouble growing up and you just decide to end it all:) and while youre busy struggling to grow up hit k-mart lane 7 blue light special and grab a brain and a life. And please, please, please keep talkin shit about me:) gives me something to laugh at when i get home from work.. but please...limit your "GENIOUS" (LOL) comments because youre takin' up bandwith on Xeno's server...
You're a hater! Ha! So is Bruce.. HATER HATER HATER!!! :) and you know what?! GOOD!!! IM GLAD!!! JOIN THE CLUB... I been sayin that shit for years... JOIN THE CLUB. Think I lose sleep at night cause... Waaaah!!! Waaaah!!! Chris' vagina hurts... oh Boo fuckin Hoo. nnnnnoooOOOOOOO! I sleep soundly at night knowing that you are a lil bitch and for you and your anal amigo Bruce to actually take the time to create an account on my website and then for some odd reason think that for a second there is a soul on this earth that gives a shit about what you have to think.. let alone what you have to say or for that matter if you wake up tomorrow....thats just frivilous..
www.dictionary.com look it up stupid.. maybe if you actually finished a class instead of just quitting all the time you may understand the big words i use in these blogs.. like...
Gelotinous, and Fangoriously.. and line..backer.
I feel sorry for the keyboards you were using...
Your keyboards are so embarrased by the stupid shit you guys type I heard they were gonna strike... all the keys are just gonna jump off the board and run away...hiding under any kind of 'educational material' cause God knows you probably cant even spell "material"; common chris give it a try....
(Chris): ...okay billy.. Uhhh...Umm.. "N"?
(Billy): sigh* no, almost chris... It kinda sounds like "N" but
its not "N" it's....
(Chris): ..umm...lets go with.. uhh..."K"?
(Billy): No chris.. I said it kinda sounds like "N"
(Chris): okie dokie.. sorry.. umm. uhh... "F"?
(Billy): ..................no
(Chris): what was the question?
(Billy): Are you a dumbass?
(Chris): A what?...
(Billy): ***leaves room
(Chris): Huh...what just happened?.. oh Lookie.. glue.. yummm..
So yeah..
the more you want to see me fail, The Harder I Will try... The More Ill Work and the louder I WILL LAUGH:) Bitches...
lol
for those of you that dont know.. the below link will offer you the option of looking at the web-forum..
www.billyfloyd.com...
till next time ladies, gentleman, children of all ages and the lumps of horse dung that has somehow managed to take the shape of two useless human beings called Chris Adams and Bruce Hunter...
Well, Someone needs to go and get a bowl of cinnamon oatmeal...
Strong Bad needs to go get a bowl of cinnamon oatmeal...
~BIlly
BTW to everyone who responded to Ace and Gary's remarks.. I cant thank you enough...
2:16 a.m.
Saturday, June 12, 2004
Fields of Gold
10:38 a.m.
Fields of Gold by Eva Cassidy = amazingly beautiful
SO how do I feel... lets got with word relation...
somber
tired
lil sad
like somethings missing
lil lost
hungry
nostalgic
lil lonely
lil craze...
Youll remember me when the west wind moves among the fields of barley...
You can tell the sun in his jealous sky, when we walked in fields of gold...
so she took her love for to gaze a while, among the fields of barley. In his arms she fell as her hair came down... among the fileds of gold
Will you stay with me? Will you be my love among the fileds of barley?
And you can tell the sun in his jealous sky when we walked in fields of gold..
I never made promises like these. There have been some that I've broken. I sware in the days still left we'll walk in fields of gold
We'll walk in fields of gold..
I never made promises like these. There have some that I've broken. I sware in the days still left we'll walk in fields of gold.
We'll walk in fields of gold..
Many years have passed since those summer days among the fields of barley see the children run as the sun goes down as you lie in fields of gold.
You'll remmeber me when the west wind moves among the fields of barley. You can tell the sun in his jealous sky when we walked in fields of gold. When we walked in fields of gold...when we walked in fields of gold...
That is the Eva Cassidy version... Thats what im listening to right now so to get the full effect its best to download it and give it a listen.. Its beautiful.. definitely something you can share with someone.
I miss you...
differently now cause youre far away...
but i miss you...
i tried to tell people i have 2 days in one.. I have my mornings and my nights...
my mornings are so questionable because my mind is open, i think about everything.. and mostly you.
*tear*
There's a song by Etta James called "At Last" that I had hoped to dance to...with you of course. Alas...
DING ================================ subject change
A very close friend of mine informed another very good friend of mine that "song writers are the philosophers of today"... damn thats good! why didnt i think of that? Anyways Thanks Caaaarl.
Hmmm what to write about...
Steve Bohn!!! WAKE UP...
You know I work with this guy and we were supposed to be hittin of the weight room and the pool and lunch.. at 10:45...
ITS 11:15!!! sleepin bastard...
dreams...
Last night in my dreams was a grown up erica lanier... friggin bomshell..absolutely gorgeous... not that shes not gorgeous now.. but goodness..
I saw Chris Adams in my dream...he was either getting ready to or had just started living in a new apt and we were checking it out..
then i had walked into a gym... not a work out gym.. but like a school gym with like 1 full basketball court and 4 half court basketball courts...
and there was this guy there who was instructing...i forget... but no one was interested and everyone left... however, i didnt have a membership... so i stayed and just started talkin to him. He was tellin me besides reading and working at the gym, thats pretty much all he does... When he was 18 he was playin for a D1 College Football team as a lineacker and he got hurt... So he was out, done, finite! But he still loved football so he tried to stay as close to sports as he could... He told me he was seeing this lovely lady and that he was almost sure she was "the one". The cool thing is that this "girl" is a girl I used to work with at the Outback in Temple Terrace. Her name is Karon and she was an awesome girl... really friggin kick ass and I havent thought about her in a long damn time but somehow she made it in my dream... You were in there too... but you always are. And you're always smiling... we're always laughing... :)
I find it interesting that people that I havent seen or for the matter people that I havent thought about in quite a while somehow make it into my creative thought process and are manifested in my dreams...
Music: "If I ain't got you." Alicia Keys
I write a lot if you guys havent noticed:) I can't stop and I appreciate it.. Why? Because if I want to pursue music I have to be able to recognize inspiration and as fast as possible try to somehow record it... I was workin' last night and wrote some... not everything I write is meant to be a song... some writings are just sparatic bits of thought... but i want to remember how i felt and why i felt that way... so in 10 - 20 - 30 years... i can read it and remember what it was like to be a 22, 26, 31 year young man...
I think I will laugh a little and cry a little cause just Like BillyBob in Varsity Blues.. Im a cryer :) It feels good. Crying to me is like Raining to the world... Its a cleansing process... sometimes it rains hard, sometimes it rains soft... sometimes those perfect summer showers where the sun is still blazing outside and the temp drops just a little teeny tiny bit.. those are awesome... those are the fun ones to walk in cause youll dry off soon but you can still get wet with your girl ;)
DING===========suject change
So maybe I was wrong about Nate... but that still doesnt merrit what you did.
or maybe i wasnt...
Ding==========suject change
music: Embracable You: Etta James.
I love allllll... the many charms about you. above alllll i want my arrrrrrms around you... yeah dont dont be a naughty baby, come to me, come to meeeeee.
My Sweet Embraceable Youuuuuuuuu....
Music: Dierks Bentley - How I'm Doin.
Yes! Rockin Baby..
Weeeeell! How am I doin since you did what-you-done to me? I cant lie i sometimes cry when I think of how it used to be. I keep my friends with me. I stay busy. and I dont get much sleeeep... baby! thats how im doin since you did what you d-d-done to me...
Ding==========================================
And I hade this other dream that I was in a restaurant like a bar-n-grill and there was a half walled off area where a pool table would go but there was a picnic table in there instead and around the inside of the walls were benches attached to the wall... just for people to chill on while waiting their turn to play at the non-existent pool table... and this song came on.. and i was in the same thing tom cruise was wearing in risky business when he was dancin alone in his house... I had the White Socks that came up about mid shin.. the boxers an un-buttoned button up dress shirt and sun glasses on... I was walkin across the top of the half wall slidin back and forth and shit.. it was awesome... I was just havin fun, and there was this girl sittin' at the picnic table inside where the pool table should have been... I didnt see her at first but she appeared to like what she saw and that made me wanna keep doin it... well shit before i knew it I had everyone in that damn place standin and clappin along as I'm gettin down to some song i forget... but it was a good one :) and then i asked the girl if she wanted to make out with me... and she said yes and took me to her boat... Talk about Risky Business!!!
So here I am taking full advantage of the invention of the "Lap-top" it currently resides on top of a pillow which is on top of my comforter which is one top of me, which is on top of my extrememly comfortable bed... yeesssss
Well, somebodies stomache is growlin... so I think that means...
Someody needs to go and get a bowl of Corn Flakes...
...Strong Bad needs to go and get a bowl of cornflakes..
Peace out Peoples and till next time... this is billyfloyd with PBFJJH news signing off...
buh bye!
11:56 a.m.
Oh wait wait.. word relation...
hungry, lil frustrated, relaxed, copasetic (idunnowhatthatmeansbutitsacoolwordandagoodsongby:localh)
uhh... indecisive.
bye
Fields of Gold by Eva Cassidy = amazingly beautiful
SO how do I feel... lets got with word relation...
somber
tired
lil sad
like somethings missing
lil lost
hungry
nostalgic
lil lonely
lil craze...
Youll remember me when the west wind moves among the fields of barley...
You can tell the sun in his jealous sky, when we walked in fields of gold...
so she took her love for to gaze a while, among the fields of barley. In his arms she fell as her hair came down... among the fileds of gold
Will you stay with me? Will you be my love among the fileds of barley?
And you can tell the sun in his jealous sky when we walked in fields of gold..
I never made promises like these. There have been some that I've broken. I sware in the days still left we'll walk in fields of gold
We'll walk in fields of gold..
I never made promises like these. There have some that I've broken. I sware in the days still left we'll walk in fields of gold.
We'll walk in fields of gold..
Many years have passed since those summer days among the fields of barley see the children run as the sun goes down as you lie in fields of gold.
You'll remmeber me when the west wind moves among the fields of barley. You can tell the sun in his jealous sky when we walked in fields of gold. When we walked in fields of gold...when we walked in fields of gold...
That is the Eva Cassidy version... Thats what im listening to right now so to get the full effect its best to download it and give it a listen.. Its beautiful.. definitely something you can share with someone.
I miss you...
differently now cause youre far away...
but i miss you...
i tried to tell people i have 2 days in one.. I have my mornings and my nights...
my mornings are so questionable because my mind is open, i think about everything.. and mostly you.
*tear*
There's a song by Etta James called "At Last" that I had hoped to dance to...with you of course. Alas...
DING ================================ subject change
A very close friend of mine informed another very good friend of mine that "song writers are the philosophers of today"... damn thats good! why didnt i think of that? Anyways Thanks Caaaarl.
Hmmm what to write about...
Steve Bohn!!! WAKE UP...
You know I work with this guy and we were supposed to be hittin of the weight room and the pool and lunch.. at 10:45...
ITS 11:15!!! sleepin bastard...
dreams...
Last night in my dreams was a grown up erica lanier... friggin bomshell..absolutely gorgeous... not that shes not gorgeous now.. but goodness..
I saw Chris Adams in my dream...he was either getting ready to or had just started living in a new apt and we were checking it out..
then i had walked into a gym... not a work out gym.. but like a school gym with like 1 full basketball court and 4 half court basketball courts...
and there was this guy there who was instructing...i forget... but no one was interested and everyone left... however, i didnt have a membership... so i stayed and just started talkin to him. He was tellin me besides reading and working at the gym, thats pretty much all he does... When he was 18 he was playin for a D1 College Football team as a lineacker and he got hurt... So he was out, done, finite! But he still loved football so he tried to stay as close to sports as he could... He told me he was seeing this lovely lady and that he was almost sure she was "the one". The cool thing is that this "girl" is a girl I used to work with at the Outback in Temple Terrace. Her name is Karon and she was an awesome girl... really friggin kick ass and I havent thought about her in a long damn time but somehow she made it in my dream... You were in there too... but you always are. And you're always smiling... we're always laughing... :)
I find it interesting that people that I havent seen or for the matter people that I havent thought about in quite a while somehow make it into my creative thought process and are manifested in my dreams...
Music: "If I ain't got you." Alicia Keys
I write a lot if you guys havent noticed:) I can't stop and I appreciate it.. Why? Because if I want to pursue music I have to be able to recognize inspiration and as fast as possible try to somehow record it... I was workin' last night and wrote some... not everything I write is meant to be a song... some writings are just sparatic bits of thought... but i want to remember how i felt and why i felt that way... so in 10 - 20 - 30 years... i can read it and remember what it was like to be a 22, 26, 31 year young man...
I think I will laugh a little and cry a little cause just Like BillyBob in Varsity Blues.. Im a cryer :) It feels good. Crying to me is like Raining to the world... Its a cleansing process... sometimes it rains hard, sometimes it rains soft... sometimes those perfect summer showers where the sun is still blazing outside and the temp drops just a little teeny tiny bit.. those are awesome... those are the fun ones to walk in cause youll dry off soon but you can still get wet with your girl ;)
DING===========suject change
So maybe I was wrong about Nate... but that still doesnt merrit what you did.
or maybe i wasnt...
Ding==========suject change
music: Embracable You: Etta James.
I love allllll... the many charms about you. above alllll i want my arrrrrrms around you... yeah dont dont be a naughty baby, come to me, come to meeeeee.
My Sweet Embraceable Youuuuuuuuu....
Music: Dierks Bentley - How I'm Doin.
Yes! Rockin Baby..
Weeeeell! How am I doin since you did what-you-done to me? I cant lie i sometimes cry when I think of how it used to be. I keep my friends with me. I stay busy. and I dont get much sleeeep... baby! thats how im doin since you did what you d-d-done to me...
Ding==========================================
And I hade this other dream that I was in a restaurant like a bar-n-grill and there was a half walled off area where a pool table would go but there was a picnic table in there instead and around the inside of the walls were benches attached to the wall... just for people to chill on while waiting their turn to play at the non-existent pool table... and this song came on.. and i was in the same thing tom cruise was wearing in risky business when he was dancin alone in his house... I had the White Socks that came up about mid shin.. the boxers an un-buttoned button up dress shirt and sun glasses on... I was walkin across the top of the half wall slidin back and forth and shit.. it was awesome... I was just havin fun, and there was this girl sittin' at the picnic table inside where the pool table should have been... I didnt see her at first but she appeared to like what she saw and that made me wanna keep doin it... well shit before i knew it I had everyone in that damn place standin and clappin along as I'm gettin down to some song i forget... but it was a good one :) and then i asked the girl if she wanted to make out with me... and she said yes and took me to her boat... Talk about Risky Business!!!
So here I am taking full advantage of the invention of the "Lap-top" it currently resides on top of a pillow which is on top of my comforter which is one top of me, which is on top of my extrememly comfortable bed... yeesssss
Well, somebodies stomache is growlin... so I think that means...
Someody needs to go and get a bowl of Corn Flakes...
...Strong Bad needs to go and get a bowl of cornflakes..
Peace out Peoples and till next time... this is billyfloyd with PBFJJH news signing off...
buh bye!
11:56 a.m.
Oh wait wait.. word relation...
hungry, lil frustrated, relaxed, copasetic (idunnowhatthatmeansbutitsacoolwordandagoodsongby:localh)
uhh... indecisive.
bye
Thursday, June 10, 2004
The Blogmeister Returns!
THANK YOU NIKKI SER-FLIP-FLOP-I!
chicago said it first but imma change it...
You're the meaning for this blog, youre my inspiration!
Yes! anyways it's 5:34 pm on thursday afternoon here in the overcast and rainy city of orlando. I have some pretty chill music on right now...
"and wheeeeeeeeeeeen I want to Kisssssssssssssss you, oh thats too hard, too hard to think about!"
so what to write about...lemme see if i can bundle up the emotions ive felt for the past few days and put them into words...
nostalgia -
yes ive felt quite nostalgic over the past few days... conjuring up old memories and basking in their visions long enough to somehow capture the moment in such a way that i can record it on paper.
i think over the past 3 days I have written and written more and more... bah! I cant stop!
so yes... i miss somethings... i dont miss some other things... but isnt that always the way it is. I dont necessarily miss something truly unless the number of positive things that i miss outweighs the number of bad things i dont miss...
for example...
i miss my mustang...
postive things
1 it was really friggin fast
2 it was...umm... white? yeah...
3 it was...well... it was...fast?...dammit i already said that one
....okay...
negative things
1 it didnt have air conditioning
2 it didnt have heat
3 fog lights didnt work
4 power windows didnt work
5 cruise control didnt work
6 none of the steering wheel controls worked
7 it always overheated
8 it was not reliable at all
9 i put 10x more money in that car than it was worth
10 it sucked gas like a mofo
11 the headliner was non existent
12 the clear coat was totally gone
13 it took me no less than 2 1/2 hours to wash and wax
14 it had 3 oil leaks
15 ...
..matt, for some reason just brought my flip-flops in and set them next to my bed... no clue.
anyways...where was i ...oh yeah... 15
15 actually...i think thats it... so just 14 things negative and 3 things positive...
well maybe there were more bad than good...
...like 12 more bad than good...
yeah there was a lot more bad than good...
but of all my cars [all (3) of them] even my current 2000 celica GT which everythings works perfectly in... I miss my mustang the most :( I loved that car... and it was its flaws that made it perfect. It was beautiful to me, I loved it to death... i mean, yeah, it pissed me off...but i gave that car everything I had and I treated it like it was my true love. I would have never given up on that car...ever. but alas... it gave up on me..blew the tranny on the turnpike headed to ocala to have dinner with a
B-E-A-utiful lady... wound up lurching through the $2.00 toll and the guy wouldnt even tell me where the phone was until i gave him my 2 bucks!!! what a bastard, but i guess hes just doin his job. but that mustang was my fav...
i actually just got out of a relationship that was quite the same...
only one or two good things and like 3,420 bad things, but it didnt matter... I loved the relationship and it was the flaws to me that made it perfect. ladies and gentlemen how many stories do you hear about the NASCAR race that had ZERO crashes, how many stories do you hear about SPACE SHUTTLES that didnt run into some type of problem...
"Houston, we have a problem..the frozen chicken dinners...NO CORNBREAD HOUSTON!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOIN TO US?! THE MEN NEED THEIR CORNBREAD!"
No...why!? because perfection is boring. thats why. perfection...theres nothing to clean up, no errors to fix, no hinges to grease, no windows to reseal...its all perfect...
BUT!!!
When You Have Something That Is Perfect, It Is Extremely Difficult To Maintain... It's Is Impossible. Life is not perfect, Love is not perfect and if it is...then it has flaws...
thats right! i just contridicted myself and this is why...
Perfect is not being 100% great and 0% bad it being 2.5% great and 97.5% bad... it's being 67% great and 33% bad... great example.. The Yin Yang :
http://www.worldpolicy.org/globalrights/religion/yin-yang.gif
Exact opposites but together they form something beautiful...
Blacks and White... or whatever colors you choose... the symbol is universally respected and I have never heard a negative explanation of it...
People... perfection is a mindset... whats perfect to you may not be perfect to someone else... but it doesnt matter. as long as You are happy...:) and if you are happy, then enjoy it... wake up with a smile because you have something in your life that you love...not because its perfect to everyone but because its perfect to you...
"perfect"... not that is a philisophical topic for next time...
================MORAL OF THE BLOG====================
so maybe the good doesnt have to outway the bad for something to be missed... in fact... for me, i know it doesnt. if there was ever any good in something that is gone... despite the bad, then missing it is totally understandable.
===============END OF MORAL OF THE BLOG==============
until then i leave you with the conversation that motivated me to BLOG!!!
and thank you nikki ser-flip-flop-i
==================================================================
N******98: flip flops
VolcanoKL: yes! love the flops!
N******98: flip flop...flip flop...flip flop
VolcanoKL: lol
N******98: ;-)
VolcanoKL: :-)
N******98: i read your blog
N******98: regularly
N******98: :-D
N******98: i like it a lot
VolcanoKL: thats awesome!
VolcanoKL: :-)thank you!
VolcanoKL: im actually gettin ready to blog now
N******98: oh wonderful! i really like that yyou do that...i like reading it
N******98: it's so real.
N******98: it's like "billy...unplugged"
VolcanoKL: :-)
VolcanoKL: ill keep that in mind
N******98: you have some wonderful things to say.
VolcanoKL: and some not so wonderful things
N******98: but that's the beauty of the "unplugged" thing...it's real, raw emotions.
VolcanoKL: awesome :-) well since i have some inspiration now i shall write ill hit you back when im done okay?
N******98: sure :-) have fun, and i look forward to reading :-) love ya byeeeee
VolcanoKL: .yaw thgir eht ti lleps tub golb ym ni ovnoc siht esu ot gniog m'I
VolcanoKL: luv ya too :-)
==================================================================
signing off 6:15 p.m.
chicago said it first but imma change it...
You're the meaning for this blog, youre my inspiration!
Yes! anyways it's 5:34 pm on thursday afternoon here in the overcast and rainy city of orlando. I have some pretty chill music on right now...
"and wheeeeeeeeeeeen I want to Kisssssssssssssss you, oh thats too hard, too hard to think about!"
so what to write about...lemme see if i can bundle up the emotions ive felt for the past few days and put them into words...
nostalgia -
yes ive felt quite nostalgic over the past few days... conjuring up old memories and basking in their visions long enough to somehow capture the moment in such a way that i can record it on paper.
i think over the past 3 days I have written and written more and more... bah! I cant stop!
so yes... i miss somethings... i dont miss some other things... but isnt that always the way it is. I dont necessarily miss something truly unless the number of positive things that i miss outweighs the number of bad things i dont miss...
for example...
i miss my mustang...
postive things
1 it was really friggin fast
2 it was...umm... white? yeah...
3 it was...well... it was...fast?...dammit i already said that one
....okay...
negative things
1 it didnt have air conditioning
2 it didnt have heat
3 fog lights didnt work
4 power windows didnt work
5 cruise control didnt work
6 none of the steering wheel controls worked
7 it always overheated
8 it was not reliable at all
9 i put 10x more money in that car than it was worth
10 it sucked gas like a mofo
11 the headliner was non existent
12 the clear coat was totally gone
13 it took me no less than 2 1/2 hours to wash and wax
14 it had 3 oil leaks
15 ...
..matt, for some reason just brought my flip-flops in and set them next to my bed... no clue.
anyways...where was i ...oh yeah... 15
15 actually...i think thats it... so just 14 things negative and 3 things positive...
well maybe there were more bad than good...
...like 12 more bad than good...
yeah there was a lot more bad than good...
but of all my cars [all (3) of them] even my current 2000 celica GT which everythings works perfectly in... I miss my mustang the most :( I loved that car... and it was its flaws that made it perfect. It was beautiful to me, I loved it to death... i mean, yeah, it pissed me off...but i gave that car everything I had and I treated it like it was my true love. I would have never given up on that car...ever. but alas... it gave up on me..blew the tranny on the turnpike headed to ocala to have dinner with a
B-E-A-utiful lady... wound up lurching through the $2.00 toll and the guy wouldnt even tell me where the phone was until i gave him my 2 bucks!!! what a bastard, but i guess hes just doin his job. but that mustang was my fav...
i actually just got out of a relationship that was quite the same...
only one or two good things and like 3,420 bad things, but it didnt matter... I loved the relationship and it was the flaws to me that made it perfect. ladies and gentlemen how many stories do you hear about the NASCAR race that had ZERO crashes, how many stories do you hear about SPACE SHUTTLES that didnt run into some type of problem...
"Houston, we have a problem..the frozen chicken dinners...NO CORNBREAD HOUSTON!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOIN TO US?! THE MEN NEED THEIR CORNBREAD!"
No...why!? because perfection is boring. thats why. perfection...theres nothing to clean up, no errors to fix, no hinges to grease, no windows to reseal...its all perfect...
BUT!!!
When You Have Something That Is Perfect, It Is Extremely Difficult To Maintain... It's Is Impossible. Life is not perfect, Love is not perfect and if it is...then it has flaws...
thats right! i just contridicted myself and this is why...
Perfect is not being 100% great and 0% bad it being 2.5% great and 97.5% bad... it's being 67% great and 33% bad... great example.. The Yin Yang :
http://www.worldpolicy.org/globalrights/religion/yin-yang.gif
Exact opposites but together they form something beautiful...
Blacks and White... or whatever colors you choose... the symbol is universally respected and I have never heard a negative explanation of it...
People... perfection is a mindset... whats perfect to you may not be perfect to someone else... but it doesnt matter. as long as You are happy...:) and if you are happy, then enjoy it... wake up with a smile because you have something in your life that you love...not because its perfect to everyone but because its perfect to you...
"perfect"... not that is a philisophical topic for next time...
================MORAL OF THE BLOG====================
so maybe the good doesnt have to outway the bad for something to be missed... in fact... for me, i know it doesnt. if there was ever any good in something that is gone... despite the bad, then missing it is totally understandable.
===============END OF MORAL OF THE BLOG==============
until then i leave you with the conversation that motivated me to BLOG!!!
and thank you nikki ser-flip-flop-i
==================================================================
N******98: flip flops
VolcanoKL: yes! love the flops!
N******98: flip flop...flip flop...flip flop
VolcanoKL: lol
N******98: ;-)
VolcanoKL: :-)
N******98: i read your blog
N******98: regularly
N******98: :-D
N******98: i like it a lot
VolcanoKL: thats awesome!
VolcanoKL: :-)thank you!
VolcanoKL: im actually gettin ready to blog now
N******98: oh wonderful! i really like that yyou do that...i like reading it
N******98: it's so real.
N******98: it's like "billy...unplugged"
VolcanoKL: :-)
VolcanoKL: ill keep that in mind
N******98: you have some wonderful things to say.
VolcanoKL: and some not so wonderful things
N******98: but that's the beauty of the "unplugged" thing...it's real, raw emotions.
VolcanoKL: awesome :-) well since i have some inspiration now i shall write ill hit you back when im done okay?
N******98: sure :-) have fun, and i look forward to reading :-) love ya byeeeee
VolcanoKL: .yaw thgir eht ti lleps tub golb ym ni ovnoc siht esu ot gniog m'I
VolcanoKL: luv ya too :-)
==================================================================
signing off 6:15 p.m.
Sunday, June 06, 2004
Crawdads and FlipFlops!
So I have to say and I apologize to all my other fellow rebels out there... I have given in... I HAVE!! :( and I did it by my own cognizance... i did... im sorry. not really. but arent people supposed to say "im sorry" when they have not only, let someone down, but maybe done something unexpected...
OKAY NEW TOPIC!!! Geez, I didnt think id be talking about this. but no! you fuggers got me started!!!
DOES ANYONE, EVER, IN THE ENTIRETY OF THE FRIGGIN UNIVERSE, PERHAPS SOMEWHERE IN THE MILKyWAY, ON THE FRIGGIN MOON, UNDER THE SEA OR IN MY E-Z BAKE OVEN.... UNDERSTAND THE PROPER USE OF....
"I'M SORRY" ?????
COMMON PEOPLE! EVERYONE USES IT IT SO LOOSELY..almost as bad as "I Love You" (different topic for a different day.)
ONLY SAY "I'M SORRY" WHEN YOU MEAN IT! NOT WHEN YOU THINK YOURE SUPPOSED TO AND YOU DONT WANNA!!! SHUT THE F*!$ UP!!! IF YOURE NOT SORRY... DONT SAY IT! IF YOU ARE SORRY... SAY YOURE F*!$N' SORRY! GET IT RIGHT!!! THIS IS NOT AERONAUTICAL ENGINEERING HERE!
....break time...gotta check on dinner 10:19 p.m. bbias. for all of you intellects that means Be Back In A Sec... geez
.......out
1:10 a.m.
cool, I'm back. After a chat with my friend Nikki, some steamed crawdads a bowl of cocoa crispies a lil nap and Jurassic Park I DVD...im ready to write or type...yeah.. type.
So in my mist of thinking, pondering, and eating i have added something else to the BLOG adgenda for the evening...
1stly: I finally broke down and bought a pair of flipflops... yes flipflops. not sandals... fthat!
flipflops? why are they called flip flops...because of the continuous annoying f*ing sound they make when i walk.. Flip...Flop / Flip...Flop...D0h! it's like my feet are keeping time...when the hour hits for some reason im dissapointed when they dont make a *ding* sound. its easy to time things though... i dont have to keep seconds in my head... i just walk around and count my steps..
Flip 1
Flop 2
Flip 3
Flop 4... and so on and so forth.
anyways yeah they are as comfortable as the invisible condoms that "invisible-condoms-r-us" makes... they're online at...
www.invisiblehappyjacket.com <---good one huh?
i just made that up:) Jimmy Buy It!!! Hurry before its gone!
anyways...crawdads....are "crawfish" to you southerners and less creative (not saying that southerners are less creative, however... they were learned to me as bein' crawdads.)
bah! pinch the tail suck the head... nice! those are the only two rules at my house when lovely ladies that i have a sexual attraction to grace me with their presence :) so me and crawdaddies got sumpin' in common...
anyways they're good. good. goooooooooood.
so...if you've ever been in this position raise your hand...
(not yet matthew) i haven't even said it yet.
So you find a particularly cute specimen of the opposite sex that strikes your fancy. for some reason, something about them just gets deep down inside of ya and at any given second, when youre around this person you just wanna... bite them on the ass! they just look so scrumptious.. how can you contain yourself?!?!!? youre just gonna bust unless you get a lil taste or at least a 4 hour session of passionate, unbelievable, necklace ripping, ass slapping, picture breaking, pillow biting sex! and then they say the worst of worsteses. the baddest of bads...
"You have got to meet my friend "*****" she/he is so pretty and she/he plays this that and the other. [[and the worst of all]](she/he)eeeeees single."
NOTE: (**) means look to the bottom...
OH! YOU DID NOT JUST TRY TO PAWN ME OFF?! Dammit, first of all, do you think i dont know what youre doing. I DO! do i look that (**)naieve... maybe, but if i do its because i dont wanna let you know that you just ripped off my head and pulled out my soul!
GOOD GOD. okay by a show of hands.. one, two, three... common common be honest... four, five, six, seven... yes, even if your gay... thanks lucas...eight, nine, ten... good. that enough my point is made. sux huh. yeah it does.
but i haveta say...this time... with a sad sigh... i was the one trying to pawn the person off... and i'm sorry :( it sux, i know. you all hate me... and the only thing i have to say to that is...
F*** YEAH... Join the club!!! You honestly think it hurts my feelings if you dont like me?! Ha! Like one of my bestest buds says.. "Boooooooo". Bring it Fockers! The more of you that hate me the longer I will poison your thoughts and haunt your dreams!!! and i'll have something else to keep me busy at night.
So all you Kappa Lambda F***s out there... F*** OFF!
Bruce or should i say "WADE" ... F*** OFF!
Chris, you wanna reason to be mad at me.. heres one.
#1. F*** OFF!
OOOOOOOOOhhhhhh! and you know who.. yes im talkin to you.
... drumroll please... dadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadaaaa
F*** Off! :)
Love Me or Hate Me... I'm Still on your mind!!! Yeeeessss
btw...(that means "by the way", dumba$$) if any of you ever have the nuts [or the perverbial nuts for those females out there] to not run away from the convo like the lil bit**es you are the next time you see me coming....if i owe you a .f***off. , the next time i see you... ill be sure to convey my feelings... in person:) but legally, very politely, and gentleman like. trust me it can be done.
what?! do you think i wont roast anyone on here? common. if you read this and i have mentioned a friend of yours in it... please tell them for me... pleeeeeease :) and if you think you just might be the:
"""OOOOOOOOOhhhhhh! and you know who.. yes im talkin to you."""
that i spoke of above...
just for thinkin it... I may owe you one bonafied, custom made, hand crafted... from the finest minerals this side of da mississippi...
"F*** OFF!"
and btw if anyone owes me a .f***off., which im sure they're out there especially after this post,... send them to:
c/o i dont give a sh*t
3825 i dont give a sh*t lane
eatmya$$ville, d**cheb*g
24824
yes of course the numbers mean something and to spell "mississippi" i used the lil diddy we all learned as kids... well some of us learned the diddy... for you other **imbreds..it goes like this.
M-I-S-S / I-S-S / I-P-P-I
yes... pretty much.
Anyways... lets do some positive shoutouts..
yes i write love songs and poetry and i define my feelings and emotions through lyrics and music but that doesnt mean i cant get a lil heated sometimes... but to the niceness...
Tessa, it was wonderful seeing you once again and meeting your sister and having the lovely opportunity to lay my eyes on your strikingly beautiful mother :)
~Thank you.
Jimmy-Wan-Cannoli! you da man! thanks for the resume assistance and of course saving me from those man-eating goats yesterday.
~Thank you.
Erica, the last few days here... were...
how do you say "educational" in french?
~Thank you
btw the french language sounds sooooo sexy.
Matt, My dawg!
GBooooooooone... Buddaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! miss you man (*tear)
Caaarl, Daytona Kicked ass last night
~Thank you :)
KellyBean... I always feel good when im around beautiful ladies. ~Thank you.
Tara, I'm proud of you that you started your own blog... *tear* shes all grown up now... look at her...blogging on her own.
Cliff, wonderful compliment on my blogging powers! you too are a blogging superhero... later, we shall give ourselves superhero blogging names like "BlogMan!" perhaps "Strong-Blog" or the dreaded "Blog-Vader"... maybe "Darth-Blog" or "The-Blogster" and we can drive around in the "Blog-Mobile!" and live in the "Blog-Cave".. okay, enough billy... okay, sorry billy.
btw having a convo with yourself is quite (**)therapudic..
hmm whoelse to thank...
Megan! you, my friend are one of the coolest of cools i have met.
~Thank you.
hmm...who to thank...who to thank...who to thank
My Parents for not disowning me after reading all the profanity in this blog. Thank you so much:) love you, see you soon... great ziti mom :)
NO PEOPLE ITS RESPECT!!! I LOVE MY FAMILY AND RESPECT THEM. IF YOU WERE DISRESPECTED IN ANYWAY BY WHAT I HAVE PREVIOUSLY STATED IN THIS BLOG...
GOOD!!! I MEANT TO DISRESPECT YOU! YOU DONT DESERVE MY RESPECT! :)
now that we got that out of the way...
DAMN, im on a roll now, but i think, i said everything i wanted to say except... dont forget.. where there is a (**) that means the meaning is at the bottom of the page...see if you can find them all. its like an easter egg hunt.
and just in case i forgot one or two people..
(F*** Off!) and (~Thank You)
Here I am ... signing off. finally you basta**s!
Sincerely,
~Blogger The Great!
this is what the (**) means...
if i spelled it wrong, look it up and email me the correct spelling please. and if you found them all before reading this... wow! you are bored! but it was a challenge and I think i would try to find it too..if after reading this you went back to find them all....well........no comment.
so with your correct spellings or comments...
you can send them to:
getalifemoron@youreadumbbasta**.com
common you had to see that one commin...
signing off at 2:19 a.m.
what!? i put a lot of thought into these blogs... if you ever took anything this seriously in your life you may not be a loser... notice i said "may not" these blogs come with no gaurantees, Exchanges, Returns...and absolutely NO REFUNDS!
bye.
okay now it's 2:35 a.m. ... what?! i wasnt done. but now megans IM window is flashing and its annoying me so buh bye all sleep tight :)
by the way if you wanna comment just click the "comment" button at the botton.. yup... right down there.. see it? good.
OKAY NEW TOPIC!!! Geez, I didnt think id be talking about this. but no! you fuggers got me started!!!
DOES ANYONE, EVER, IN THE ENTIRETY OF THE FRIGGIN UNIVERSE, PERHAPS SOMEWHERE IN THE MILKyWAY, ON THE FRIGGIN MOON, UNDER THE SEA OR IN MY E-Z BAKE OVEN.... UNDERSTAND THE PROPER USE OF....
"I'M SORRY" ?????
COMMON PEOPLE! EVERYONE USES IT IT SO LOOSELY..almost as bad as "I Love You" (different topic for a different day.)
ONLY SAY "I'M SORRY" WHEN YOU MEAN IT! NOT WHEN YOU THINK YOURE SUPPOSED TO AND YOU DONT WANNA!!! SHUT THE F*!$ UP!!! IF YOURE NOT SORRY... DONT SAY IT! IF YOU ARE SORRY... SAY YOURE F*!$N' SORRY! GET IT RIGHT!!! THIS IS NOT AERONAUTICAL ENGINEERING HERE!
....break time...gotta check on dinner 10:19 p.m. bbias. for all of you intellects that means Be Back In A Sec... geez
.......out
1:10 a.m.
cool, I'm back. After a chat with my friend Nikki, some steamed crawdads a bowl of cocoa crispies a lil nap and Jurassic Park I DVD...im ready to write or type...yeah.. type.
So in my mist of thinking, pondering, and eating i have added something else to the BLOG adgenda for the evening...
1stly: I finally broke down and bought a pair of flipflops... yes flipflops. not sandals... fthat!
flipflops? why are they called flip flops...because of the continuous annoying f*ing sound they make when i walk.. Flip...Flop / Flip...Flop...D0h! it's like my feet are keeping time...when the hour hits for some reason im dissapointed when they dont make a *ding* sound. its easy to time things though... i dont have to keep seconds in my head... i just walk around and count my steps..
Flip 1
Flop 2
Flip 3
Flop 4... and so on and so forth.
anyways yeah they are as comfortable as the invisible condoms that "invisible-condoms-r-us" makes... they're online at...
www.invisiblehappyjacket.com <---good one huh?
i just made that up:) Jimmy Buy It!!! Hurry before its gone!
anyways...crawdads....are "crawfish" to you southerners and less creative (not saying that southerners are less creative, however... they were learned to me as bein' crawdads.)
bah! pinch the tail suck the head... nice! those are the only two rules at my house when lovely ladies that i have a sexual attraction to grace me with their presence :) so me and crawdaddies got sumpin' in common...
anyways they're good. good. goooooooooood.
so...if you've ever been in this position raise your hand...
(not yet matthew) i haven't even said it yet.
So you find a particularly cute specimen of the opposite sex that strikes your fancy. for some reason, something about them just gets deep down inside of ya and at any given second, when youre around this person you just wanna... bite them on the ass! they just look so scrumptious.. how can you contain yourself?!?!!? youre just gonna bust unless you get a lil taste or at least a 4 hour session of passionate, unbelievable, necklace ripping, ass slapping, picture breaking, pillow biting sex! and then they say the worst of worsteses. the baddest of bads...
"You have got to meet my friend "*****" she/he is so pretty and she/he plays this that and the other. [[and the worst of all]](she/he)eeeeees single."
NOTE: (**) means look to the bottom...
OH! YOU DID NOT JUST TRY TO PAWN ME OFF?! Dammit, first of all, do you think i dont know what youre doing. I DO! do i look that (**)naieve... maybe, but if i do its because i dont wanna let you know that you just ripped off my head and pulled out my soul!
GOOD GOD. okay by a show of hands.. one, two, three... common common be honest... four, five, six, seven... yes, even if your gay... thanks lucas...eight, nine, ten... good. that enough my point is made. sux huh. yeah it does.
but i haveta say...this time... with a sad sigh... i was the one trying to pawn the person off... and i'm sorry :( it sux, i know. you all hate me... and the only thing i have to say to that is...
F*** YEAH... Join the club!!! You honestly think it hurts my feelings if you dont like me?! Ha! Like one of my bestest buds says.. "Boooooooo". Bring it Fockers! The more of you that hate me the longer I will poison your thoughts and haunt your dreams!!! and i'll have something else to keep me busy at night.
So all you Kappa Lambda F***s out there... F*** OFF!
Bruce or should i say "WADE" ... F*** OFF!
Chris, you wanna reason to be mad at me.. heres one.
#1. F*** OFF!
OOOOOOOOOhhhhhh! and you know who.. yes im talkin to you.
... drumroll please... dadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadaaaa
F*** Off! :)
Love Me or Hate Me... I'm Still on your mind!!! Yeeeessss
btw...(that means "by the way", dumba$$) if any of you ever have the nuts [or the perverbial nuts for those females out there] to not run away from the convo like the lil bit**es you are the next time you see me coming....if i owe you a .f***off. , the next time i see you... ill be sure to convey my feelings... in person:) but legally, very politely, and gentleman like. trust me it can be done.
what?! do you think i wont roast anyone on here? common. if you read this and i have mentioned a friend of yours in it... please tell them for me... pleeeeeease :) and if you think you just might be the:
"""OOOOOOOOOhhhhhh! and you know who.. yes im talkin to you."""
that i spoke of above...
just for thinkin it... I may owe you one bonafied, custom made, hand crafted... from the finest minerals this side of da mississippi...
"F*** OFF!"
and btw if anyone owes me a .f***off., which im sure they're out there especially after this post,... send them to:
c/o i dont give a sh*t
3825 i dont give a sh*t lane
eatmya$$ville, d**cheb*g
24824
yes of course the numbers mean something and to spell "mississippi" i used the lil diddy we all learned as kids... well some of us learned the diddy... for you other **imbreds..it goes like this.
M-I-S-S / I-S-S / I-P-P-I
yes... pretty much.
Anyways... lets do some positive shoutouts..
yes i write love songs and poetry and i define my feelings and emotions through lyrics and music but that doesnt mean i cant get a lil heated sometimes... but to the niceness...
Tessa, it was wonderful seeing you once again and meeting your sister and having the lovely opportunity to lay my eyes on your strikingly beautiful mother :)
~Thank you.
Jimmy-Wan-Cannoli! you da man! thanks for the resume assistance and of course saving me from those man-eating goats yesterday.
~Thank you.
Erica, the last few days here... were...
how do you say "educational" in french?
~Thank you
btw the french language sounds sooooo sexy.
Matt, My dawg!
GBooooooooone... Buddaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! miss you man (*tear)
Caaarl, Daytona Kicked ass last night
~Thank you :)
KellyBean... I always feel good when im around beautiful ladies. ~Thank you.
Tara, I'm proud of you that you started your own blog... *tear* shes all grown up now... look at her...blogging on her own.
Cliff, wonderful compliment on my blogging powers! you too are a blogging superhero... later, we shall give ourselves superhero blogging names like "BlogMan!" perhaps "Strong-Blog" or the dreaded "Blog-Vader"... maybe "Darth-Blog" or "The-Blogster" and we can drive around in the "Blog-Mobile!" and live in the "Blog-Cave".. okay, enough billy... okay, sorry billy.
btw having a convo with yourself is quite (**)therapudic..
hmm whoelse to thank...
Megan! you, my friend are one of the coolest of cools i have met.
~Thank you.
hmm...who to thank...who to thank...who to thank
My Parents for not disowning me after reading all the profanity in this blog. Thank you so much:) love you, see you soon... great ziti mom :)
NO PEOPLE ITS RESPECT!!! I LOVE MY FAMILY AND RESPECT THEM. IF YOU WERE DISRESPECTED IN ANYWAY BY WHAT I HAVE PREVIOUSLY STATED IN THIS BLOG...
GOOD!!! I MEANT TO DISRESPECT YOU! YOU DONT DESERVE MY RESPECT! :)
now that we got that out of the way...
DAMN, im on a roll now, but i think, i said everything i wanted to say except... dont forget.. where there is a (**) that means the meaning is at the bottom of the page...see if you can find them all. its like an easter egg hunt.
and just in case i forgot one or two people..
(F*** Off!) and (~Thank You)
Here I am ... signing off. finally you basta**s!
Sincerely,
~Blogger The Great!
this is what the (**) means...
if i spelled it wrong, look it up and email me the correct spelling please. and if you found them all before reading this... wow! you are bored! but it was a challenge and I think i would try to find it too..if after reading this you went back to find them all....well........no comment.
so with your correct spellings or comments...
you can send them to:
getalifemoron@youreadumbbasta**.com
common you had to see that one commin...
signing off at 2:19 a.m.
what!? i put a lot of thought into these blogs... if you ever took anything this seriously in your life you may not be a loser... notice i said "may not" these blogs come with no gaurantees, Exchanges, Returns...and absolutely NO REFUNDS!
bye.
okay now it's 2:35 a.m. ... what?! i wasnt done. but now megans IM window is flashing and its annoying me so buh bye all sleep tight :)
by the way if you wanna comment just click the "comment" button at the botton.. yup... right down there.. see it? good.
Friday, June 04, 2004
Rain Much?
Music: "Can you stand the rain?" by Boys II Men
Mood: Somber
It's just after 5 on Friday June 4th and I've just gotten back from a beautiful drive...
About 1/4 of the way through, the air changed from a warm, dry, and burning bright.. to cool and crisp. Almost as if GOD dimmed the lights and topped the sky with sprinkles of the arctic and in an instant... it was beautiful.. perfectly cool with a romantically deep lit canopy draped over the world.
And the rain couldnt come soon enough...
like a single tear splashing in my palm, the first rain drop found itself onto my windshield... and that.. was it's purpose. There are those that say everything happens for a reason.. "everything" not just "somethings". So in the great vision of the world, GOD made it so at that very moment, at that very spot, there is a reason that one specific rain drop found itself where it did. And maybe this is why. That single tiny droplet of water served as the inspiration for this entry...
The rain, to me, is the most beautiful gift that we have been given... Companied with the rolling thunder and crashing lightning...that has been the basis for many poems, songs, paintings, photographs, and perfectly intimate moments with the one i love the most. Or in some cases, perfectly intimate moments spent with the love of my life... in my thoughts and my prayers.
The rain, to me, is a shower, a fresh start. Washing away the imperfections that have somehow found themselves into our delicate hearts turning what was once pure and loving into something else... something not so pure, something not so ethereal.
So the next time you find that the skys have opened up and sun has ducked behind the grayest of clouds, savor it. If you feel so inclined to, and I highly suggest it... go for a walk... WITH NO UMBRELLA.. or if you aren't as daring as I...throw on some older clothes, grab an umbrella and go for a stroll. Hopefully you will have someone to share it with and if you don't... try to capture the moment; not keep it, but take a mental picture of the moment and keep your eyes closed doing your best to describe what you feel an how it makes you feel... just try it.
until next time.. I have some BBQ ribs to enjoy :)
if you havent heard "can you stand the rain?" by Boys II Men... please do.
~Billy 5:38 p.m. 6/04/04
p.s. thanks for the rain drop...
Mood: Somber
It's just after 5 on Friday June 4th and I've just gotten back from a beautiful drive...
About 1/4 of the way through, the air changed from a warm, dry, and burning bright.. to cool and crisp. Almost as if GOD dimmed the lights and topped the sky with sprinkles of the arctic and in an instant... it was beautiful.. perfectly cool with a romantically deep lit canopy draped over the world.
And the rain couldnt come soon enough...
like a single tear splashing in my palm, the first rain drop found itself onto my windshield... and that.. was it's purpose. There are those that say everything happens for a reason.. "everything" not just "somethings". So in the great vision of the world, GOD made it so at that very moment, at that very spot, there is a reason that one specific rain drop found itself where it did. And maybe this is why. That single tiny droplet of water served as the inspiration for this entry...
The rain, to me, is the most beautiful gift that we have been given... Companied with the rolling thunder and crashing lightning...that has been the basis for many poems, songs, paintings, photographs, and perfectly intimate moments with the one i love the most. Or in some cases, perfectly intimate moments spent with the love of my life... in my thoughts and my prayers.
The rain, to me, is a shower, a fresh start. Washing away the imperfections that have somehow found themselves into our delicate hearts turning what was once pure and loving into something else... something not so pure, something not so ethereal.
So the next time you find that the skys have opened up and sun has ducked behind the grayest of clouds, savor it. If you feel so inclined to, and I highly suggest it... go for a walk... WITH NO UMBRELLA.. or if you aren't as daring as I...throw on some older clothes, grab an umbrella and go for a stroll. Hopefully you will have someone to share it with and if you don't... try to capture the moment; not keep it, but take a mental picture of the moment and keep your eyes closed doing your best to describe what you feel an how it makes you feel... just try it.
until next time.. I have some BBQ ribs to enjoy :)
if you havent heard "can you stand the rain?" by Boys II Men... please do.
~Billy 5:38 p.m. 6/04/04
p.s. thanks for the rain drop...
Thursday, June 03, 2004
Map This / Change that
So after a few Coronas 2 incence sticks (jasmine) mmm...jasmine.. one of the hottest disney characters ever! kind reminds me of my friend Krupa. shes hot as well.. spicy even!
anyways...allen, garrett, and myself lit a pimp candle, cause thats the kind of candles pimps have (pimp candles) and we sat on my kitchen floor and had some kick ass convo about the band. from old lessons to new horizons... then my friend erica joined the party.. the more the merrier, thats how i see it at least...
3 guys 1 girl... YESSSSS!!!
so garrett and i continued to drink the rest of the coronas after allen headed home and erica proceeded to read her book... garrett and i pimp-walked out to my patio for some interesting pimp convo on the aftermath of having sex with someone because it's fun. good convo and BTW i knew as soon as that bastard broke the seal he'd but up every 2 min. that kid has a bladder the size of a tuna sandwich. anyways...
so there we sat, on the patio, it was good clean fun.
however... you may be asking yourself...
when does the bitching come along?
wait a tick! he hasnt ranted about anything yet!!!
ALAS MY FRIENDS THE TIME IS NEAR!!!
so after everything.. it was a good night, a good convo, and time for some good sleep...
Ahhh...ZZZzzzzz
RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!
sh*t! i spoke too soon!!! almost good sleep!!!
DAMMIT WHOS CALLING!!??!!
then i receive a call from possibly one of the most beautiful people that has ever walked our doomed planet. yes ladies and gentlemen ...the one...the only....the infamous....the computer savy...
TESSA!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!
The crowd goes wild... TESSA! TESSA! TESSA! WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP! (swirling fist in the air)
so the phone rings at like 9:45 this morning and thank GOD for caller ID cause it was Tessa calling me from work... which by the way is the only place Tessa calls me from. I think it's so when her boyfriend looks at her cell phone bill he wont see that shes totally head over heels for the B. Floyd! or maybe its because she doesnt want me to have her cell number
... eh i like the first one better... yeah.
...its because she loves me! :)
anyways... do you know how long i was on the phone with her??! huh!?!? do ya? do ya? kenya guess?
mapping network drives, changing security clearance, adding user accounts, and administrative accounts, changing passwords, and access rights...
ahhh!!!!
not something i want to deal with at 12:00 in the afternoon!?!?
---Wait a tick!--- you just said she called you at 9:45 and now youre saying...
what?! no way 12:00 p.m.?!? R U SERIOUS?! you were on the phone with her for how long? You have got to be shitting tiffany cufflinks! and for what? for who? and why did i do this???
because ladies and gentlemen im addicted.
Im addicted to beautiful women and it will be my downfall.
It's like someone being addicted to cigarettes...
but theres a medical reason why youre addicted...
...it's the nicotine.. yes..the nicotine.
well thats what beautiful women are to me, they are my nicotine they amaze me? Is it because they're beautiful???.. perhaps a lil but mostly because the're so interesting to figure out. they're not difficult to figure out but they are more challenging than a pretty girl or a cute girl. the cuties and pretties are easy to figure out. its the HOT ones that get me...
damnit all to hell!!!
is there a hot girl patch i could wear? maybe some gum i could chew? what would ease my craving for the hottness??? Well my people!
when youre thirsty.. what do you do? you drink somethin'
when youre hungry??? thats right ... chomp friggin chomp...
so when i have a craving for "the hottness" what do i do???
well theres only one way to satisfy that craving and unfortunately for me it doesn come in vhs, dvd or paperback... it gotztabe the real thing. i need a hot girl... a damn hot girl... a girl that i have no business even standing next to... thats the only thing that can do it...
so i set out on my journey and i bring my weapon of choice with me..
"What is it?" you may ask!!!... oh no no no i will never tell, but its a sure thing. the ladies can't resist it, they try to but it's like gravity or a big huge ginormous magnet and the Ladies are the Hottness and the Hottness is metal.. and Metal Loves Magnets!!!
Screw off!!! I like my analogy... lol. i just said "anal" thats awesome!
========DING SUBJECT CHANGE==========
ring. ring. friggin ring. it's 12:34 and guess who just called me...
...thats right: TESSA!!! and she cant get to her address book...
what i really want to tell her is to get in her car and come to my house so we can shoot each other with tranquilizer darts and f**k like stoned test bunnies. yeesss.
okay... that was fun 12:46 off the phone, she really is a sweet heart. maybe im missing the picture, maybe she asks me for help just like a damsel in distress would ask superman for help... maybe its kind like when marzipan asks homestar runner to open the pickle jar for her... or when carmen electra was like "hey billy oh my god you friggin rock!! oh please oh please lemme suck your..."
i mean...whaaat??!
or when that really hot air conditioner fixer girl was like..
"hey do you mind taking you hand of my 'utility belt'?"
whatever!.. she liked it...
anyways... what was i talking about....
................................oh yeah
maybe she likes me... like... likes me likes me and im just too blind to see it. or maybe she doesnt.
eh, i think she does.
She wantzme!!!
SHe thinks Im Deeeeead Seeexy!!
=========DING SUBJECT CHANGE========
There have been times when I have told someone ...
"yeah im here for ya anytime... dont hesitate.. it all good."
And then they take complete advantage of it calling! and asking! and begging! and i need this! and i need that! and I need the other thing!
...and I'm like "DAMN!" I mean I know i said i was here for you anytime you needed anything but i didnt really mean anytime!!!
I meant when it's convenient for me!!!!! GEEZ!!!
okay... now that i got that out of the way...
time for a corona and a shower...and of course a lime...
and YES AT THE SAME TIME.
Ever have an ice cold beer in a steamy hot shower... its the best of both worlds. I suggest you try it.
ill leave you with this quote...
"as the passions of life make their way through the starry backlit canopy that the night carries...remember that I will always be here for you and youll be there for me. because love is the bond that will hold us together forever."
~pbf
pbf <-- thats me btw "pretty boy floyd"
out!
1:41 p.m.
anyways...allen, garrett, and myself lit a pimp candle, cause thats the kind of candles pimps have (pimp candles) and we sat on my kitchen floor and had some kick ass convo about the band. from old lessons to new horizons... then my friend erica joined the party.. the more the merrier, thats how i see it at least...
3 guys 1 girl... YESSSSS!!!
so garrett and i continued to drink the rest of the coronas after allen headed home and erica proceeded to read her book... garrett and i pimp-walked out to my patio for some interesting pimp convo on the aftermath of having sex with someone because it's fun. good convo and BTW i knew as soon as that bastard broke the seal he'd but up every 2 min. that kid has a bladder the size of a tuna sandwich. anyways...
so there we sat, on the patio, it was good clean fun.
however... you may be asking yourself...
when does the bitching come along?
wait a tick! he hasnt ranted about anything yet!!!
ALAS MY FRIENDS THE TIME IS NEAR!!!
so after everything.. it was a good night, a good convo, and time for some good sleep...
Ahhh...ZZZzzzzz
RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!
sh*t! i spoke too soon!!! almost good sleep!!!
DAMMIT WHOS CALLING!!??!!
then i receive a call from possibly one of the most beautiful people that has ever walked our doomed planet. yes ladies and gentlemen ...the one...the only....the infamous....the computer savy...
TESSA!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!
The crowd goes wild... TESSA! TESSA! TESSA! WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP! (swirling fist in the air)
so the phone rings at like 9:45 this morning and thank GOD for caller ID cause it was Tessa calling me from work... which by the way is the only place Tessa calls me from. I think it's so when her boyfriend looks at her cell phone bill he wont see that shes totally head over heels for the B. Floyd! or maybe its because she doesnt want me to have her cell number
... eh i like the first one better... yeah.
...its because she loves me! :)
anyways... do you know how long i was on the phone with her??! huh!?!? do ya? do ya? kenya guess?
mapping network drives, changing security clearance, adding user accounts, and administrative accounts, changing passwords, and access rights...
ahhh!!!!
not something i want to deal with at 12:00 in the afternoon!?!?
---Wait a tick!--- you just said she called you at 9:45 and now youre saying...
what?! no way 12:00 p.m.?!? R U SERIOUS?! you were on the phone with her for how long? You have got to be shitting tiffany cufflinks! and for what? for who? and why did i do this???
because ladies and gentlemen im addicted.
Im addicted to beautiful women and it will be my downfall.
It's like someone being addicted to cigarettes...
but theres a medical reason why youre addicted...
...it's the nicotine.. yes..the nicotine.
well thats what beautiful women are to me, they are my nicotine they amaze me? Is it because they're beautiful???.. perhaps a lil but mostly because the're so interesting to figure out. they're not difficult to figure out but they are more challenging than a pretty girl or a cute girl. the cuties and pretties are easy to figure out. its the HOT ones that get me...
damnit all to hell!!!
is there a hot girl patch i could wear? maybe some gum i could chew? what would ease my craving for the hottness??? Well my people!
when youre thirsty.. what do you do? you drink somethin'
when youre hungry??? thats right ... chomp friggin chomp...
so when i have a craving for "the hottness" what do i do???
well theres only one way to satisfy that craving and unfortunately for me it doesn come in vhs, dvd or paperback... it gotztabe the real thing. i need a hot girl... a damn hot girl... a girl that i have no business even standing next to... thats the only thing that can do it...
so i set out on my journey and i bring my weapon of choice with me..
"What is it?" you may ask!!!... oh no no no i will never tell, but its a sure thing. the ladies can't resist it, they try to but it's like gravity or a big huge ginormous magnet and the Ladies are the Hottness and the Hottness is metal.. and Metal Loves Magnets!!!
Screw off!!! I like my analogy... lol. i just said "anal" thats awesome!
========DING SUBJECT CHANGE==========
ring. ring. friggin ring. it's 12:34 and guess who just called me...
...thats right: TESSA!!! and she cant get to her address book...
what i really want to tell her is to get in her car and come to my house so we can shoot each other with tranquilizer darts and f**k like stoned test bunnies. yeesss.
okay... that was fun 12:46 off the phone, she really is a sweet heart. maybe im missing the picture, maybe she asks me for help just like a damsel in distress would ask superman for help... maybe its kind like when marzipan asks homestar runner to open the pickle jar for her... or when carmen electra was like "hey billy oh my god you friggin rock!! oh please oh please lemme suck your..."
i mean...whaaat??!
or when that really hot air conditioner fixer girl was like..
"hey do you mind taking you hand of my 'utility belt'?"
whatever!.. she liked it...
anyways... what was i talking about....
................................oh yeah
maybe she likes me... like... likes me likes me and im just too blind to see it. or maybe she doesnt.
eh, i think she does.
She wantzme!!!
SHe thinks Im Deeeeead Seeexy!!
=========DING SUBJECT CHANGE========
There have been times when I have told someone ...
"yeah im here for ya anytime... dont hesitate.. it all good."
And then they take complete advantage of it calling! and asking! and begging! and i need this! and i need that! and I need the other thing!
...and I'm like "DAMN!" I mean I know i said i was here for you anytime you needed anything but i didnt really mean anytime!!!
I meant when it's convenient for me!!!!! GEEZ!!!
okay... now that i got that out of the way...
time for a corona and a shower...and of course a lime...
and YES AT THE SAME TIME.
Ever have an ice cold beer in a steamy hot shower... its the best of both worlds. I suggest you try it.
ill leave you with this quote...
"as the passions of life make their way through the starry backlit canopy that the night carries...remember that I will always be here for you and youll be there for me. because love is the bond that will hold us together forever."
~pbf
pbf <-- thats me btw "pretty boy floyd"
out!
1:41 p.m.
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
creative in the morning
"I'm only heart broken in the morning, the rest of the day i just miss her."
so yeah, it's like 2 worlds i live in: the morning and the night. in the morning im pretty much stressed to hell. Job, money, life, friends, love, family, and music. So what do i do? I pick up the guitar.. and i write. thats when most of my thoughts make it to paper...
other than that they just stay jumbles of u/i ndephierable thoughts. i wasnt sure if i was spelled with an "U" or an "I" so i did it with both.
I was just playing this song called "Run-n-Hide". Based of course on a previous relationship where instead of dealing with feelings and emotions, running away from them seemed to be the better answer. And yes based on what I said yesterday I know what I'm doing :)
So DAMN the internet! This friggin thing has made the world so small! Seriously now... do you know how many phone calls i had to make last night to order some pizza??!? if you are by any means internet savy you will know the answer is... drum roll please dadadaadadadadadadadadadaadda
ZERO! yes, thats right...Nada Zip Zilch Nothing...
[no phone call*] just a login to www.papajohns.com and whammo! 20 minutes later.. knock knock, heres your friggin pizza. sign this and have a dandy night.
*that reminds me I also was just playin a song called "No goodbyes" wherein an idea was just dropped that had been in the works for almost 2 years... it was abandoned, no phonecall to let me know, no goodbye... nothin'.. just an email. thankx. :)
anyways... back the the smallness of the world...
the internet has given everyone a voice. Thanks alot FRIGGIN INTERNET (shaking fist toward the sky!) now introverts are extroverts and extroverts are capitalizing on their extrovertedness<--- im like shakespear baby i create words! yeah!
anyways... i'm connected to everyone all the time, poland, russia, europe, siberia, peru, the arctic, somalia and hmmmm... prague. along with every other country that has the occupants with an IQ over 70. okay so maybe not poland...
i have one and only one question... right now at least.
WHAT DID THEY DO BEFORE AIM?!?!!? BEFORE AWAY MESSAGES?!?! BEFORE EMAIL AND INTERNET PORN!??! BEFORE SPAM AND POWERPOINT?!!? BEFORE THE ABILITY TO TAKE OVER A COMPUTER AND LEARN ALL THE INTIMATE DETAILS ABOUT ANOTHER PERSON AND THEIR INNER DEMONS??!??! WHAT DID THEY DO!? GOODNESS...
okay... i'm back thanks. i guess that was like 6 questions...
and cell phones!!! Ahhhhhhh!!! I loathe cell phones!!! Dammit! and cell phone contracts... goodness... 2years?! and if i change my plan i lose me free minutes... well suck a big hairy cactus AT&T, you bastards!
The only thing good that has come of the internet is my access to music... which is the greatest thing ever. yes, i think written word is mankinds greatest achievement but music... thats an upgrade.
thats like comparing the wheel to the (Wheeeeeel Ooof Fortune!!!)
sure the wheel was a great idea; but the wheel of fortune? now that was an epic achievement.
song: last train home (lostProphets)
mood: somber
time: 11:38 a.m.
place: my bed
underwear: Black Jockey Boxer Briefs and i must say... Damn I look deeeead sexxxxy.
song: run rabbit run (eminem)
mood: frustrated
time: 11:42 a.m.
underwear: same, just 4 minutes older.
Bean Bag chairs, great invention and now I'm done.. so buh bye and ill leave you with the daily quote...
"you only live once, there's no time like the present, might as well take risks cause that way you have no regrets in the end."
~erica
lata,
~Bstylz
.f**k spell check.
so yeah, it's like 2 worlds i live in: the morning and the night. in the morning im pretty much stressed to hell. Job, money, life, friends, love, family, and music. So what do i do? I pick up the guitar.. and i write. thats when most of my thoughts make it to paper...
other than that they just stay jumbles of u/i ndephierable thoughts. i wasnt sure if i was spelled with an "U" or an "I" so i did it with both.
I was just playing this song called "Run-n-Hide". Based of course on a previous relationship where instead of dealing with feelings and emotions, running away from them seemed to be the better answer. And yes based on what I said yesterday I know what I'm doing :)
So DAMN the internet! This friggin thing has made the world so small! Seriously now... do you know how many phone calls i had to make last night to order some pizza??!? if you are by any means internet savy you will know the answer is... drum roll please dadadaadadadadadadadadadaadda
ZERO! yes, thats right...Nada Zip Zilch Nothing...
[no phone call*] just a login to www.papajohns.com and whammo! 20 minutes later.. knock knock, heres your friggin pizza. sign this and have a dandy night.
*that reminds me I also was just playin a song called "No goodbyes" wherein an idea was just dropped that had been in the works for almost 2 years... it was abandoned, no phonecall to let me know, no goodbye... nothin'.. just an email. thankx. :)
anyways... back the the smallness of the world...
the internet has given everyone a voice. Thanks alot FRIGGIN INTERNET (shaking fist toward the sky!) now introverts are extroverts and extroverts are capitalizing on their extrovertedness<--- im like shakespear baby i create words! yeah!
anyways... i'm connected to everyone all the time, poland, russia, europe, siberia, peru, the arctic, somalia and hmmmm... prague. along with every other country that has the occupants with an IQ over 70. okay so maybe not poland...
i have one and only one question... right now at least.
WHAT DID THEY DO BEFORE AIM?!?!!? BEFORE AWAY MESSAGES?!?! BEFORE EMAIL AND INTERNET PORN!??! BEFORE SPAM AND POWERPOINT?!!? BEFORE THE ABILITY TO TAKE OVER A COMPUTER AND LEARN ALL THE INTIMATE DETAILS ABOUT ANOTHER PERSON AND THEIR INNER DEMONS??!??! WHAT DID THEY DO!? GOODNESS...
okay... i'm back thanks. i guess that was like 6 questions...
and cell phones!!! Ahhhhhhh!!! I loathe cell phones!!! Dammit! and cell phone contracts... goodness... 2years?! and if i change my plan i lose me free minutes... well suck a big hairy cactus AT&T, you bastards!
The only thing good that has come of the internet is my access to music... which is the greatest thing ever. yes, i think written word is mankinds greatest achievement but music... thats an upgrade.
thats like comparing the wheel to the (Wheeeeeel Ooof Fortune!!!)
sure the wheel was a great idea; but the wheel of fortune? now that was an epic achievement.
song: last train home (lostProphets)
mood: somber
time: 11:38 a.m.
place: my bed
underwear: Black Jockey Boxer Briefs and i must say... Damn I look deeeead sexxxxy.
song: run rabbit run (eminem)
mood: frustrated
time: 11:42 a.m.
underwear: same, just 4 minutes older.
Bean Bag chairs, great invention and now I'm done.. so buh bye and ill leave you with the daily quote...
"you only live once, there's no time like the present, might as well take risks cause that way you have no regrets in the end."
~erica
lata,
~Bstylz
.f**k spell check.
Tuesday, June 01, 2004
Just read it.
So I sat here for about 4,337 seconds trying to come up with an original title for this blog... so i thought to myself...should it be funny blog title maybe? No... how about serious blog title?... No. hmmm maybe a clever blog title. No that won't work.
Dammit!
Hmmmm... Then I started to think... (why did I even start this Blogging thing?) Was it so I could come up with snazzy titles and interesting catch phrases????
Nnnnooooooo... I did this so i could write down meaningless events in some desperate attempt that the right person would read them, and without warning call me up and protest their undying love for me... or just show up in nothing but a thong and a case of Ice Cold Whipped Cream... cause guys and girls if you leave it out for over 5 minutes it gets all runny and it won't stay where you put it. but hey it still tastes good.. and then you have a reason to shower with your girl :)
btw this is apparently what Im good for:::
PrincssCrys1620: Quick say something funny :-)
VolcanoKL: I love clam chowder!
VolcanoKL: red not white
VolcanoKL: and i eat it with chop sticks... ever try that?
VolcanoKL: its hard as f**k!
PrincssCrys1620: haha
PrincssCrys1620: I bet
PrincssCrys1620: thank you
VolcanoKL: youre welcome
PrincssCrys1620: okay i gotta go.
Do you see that?! What am I? Comic relief for my friends in their desperate times? I think so.
Anyways... Back to my original point... hold on, gimme a sec...
..................................
..................................
..................................
.......................okay got it
I sat here focusing on the title for this blog.. and oooooh what a good blog it is. yessss, good blog...
...sit blog. sit. Good blog.
then i realized i was focusing on the wrong thing.. what i should have been focusing on is the body of the blog... or the "BB" not the "BT" (blog title) But I caught myself... so the moral of the story is...
actually... i have no idea what the moral of the story is.
or maybe it's something like...
:::don't focus on the meaningless shit:::
...or something like that. yeah, we spend too much time focusing on bull shit. what clothes we are gonna wear to the movies. what the latest styles are, what the latest music is. what do i want people hearing me listening to when i roll up in that piece!? Why??? cause everyone is ALWAYS and i dont give a monkeys left testicle who you are... everyone including you and myself is always watching, looking, staring, comparing, sizing up and of course... always always...JUDGING.
JUDGER!
Why do we do this? Is it because modern society has everyone believing that they have to be perfect every time out!? Is it because we are supposed to look like the Calvin Klein models or the Beautiful ladies in "Elle"? Follow the fashion trends of the french or drive the cars that you always see on the prototype floor but you never see on the road?
"We are the all singing all dancing crap of the world."
tyler durden / fight club.
"Advertisments has us chasing cars and clothes. Working jobs we hate so we can by shit that we don't need."
tyler durden / fight club
This is what it comes down to ladies and gentlman, children of all ages...
Take all your material possessions and forget about em...money clothes cars gadgets computers toys sunglasses electronics the latest in cheese graders from that infomercial that you couldnt stop watching or that piece of shit furniture that you got from IKEA that cost you $90.00 to buy thats sole purpose is to collect dust ...but only cost IKEA 0.56 cents to produce.
it's almost like we have to prove our wealth to other people by displaying the material possessions we have... well i'd have to say if you fall into this puddle of stagnate shit...
you are an idiot! yes.. no sugar coating. you are a fool and i laugh at you... "HA HA HA" <-- thats me laughing. out loud..
...no, really... i just did that.
I just got back from seeing "The day after tomorrow." and those movies always get me to thinking... if i were facing death, with no way out and only weeks, days, hours, minutes, moments to live... what would i miss the most? What would i regret?? If I were faced with having to choose to save one thing in a raging fire what would it be... my T.V. or my lyrics? My X.Box or my photo album.. My bean bag chairs or the letters from my ex girlfriend... My paperback porn or my video porn?!?!? Now that is the eternal and unanswerable question.. "My paperback porn or my video porn?!?!?" I think possibly paperback cause i would need a dvd player or vcr to watch the videos not to mention the t.v. (which by the way i did mention. i never really understood the meaning of that statement anyways.) and since i chose to save my lyrics instead of my T.V. i guess that leaves me outside without no porn AND THAT...is no good.
okay time to practice...
www.smilinmcgee.com
www.billyfloyd.com
lata bye! be back later to finish this one up...
okay im back... bUT...i dont have anything more to say. so... i guess im done.
buh bye Caaaarl, Tara, Jimmy, Crystal, Matt, Solange, John, Elisha, Travis, and Nikki...
10 seperate IM's going at once...
IT'S A NEW RECORD!!!!
(APPLAUSE)
(CROWD CHEERING)
(BANDS PLAYING: "HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO!!!")
bye.
Dammit!
Hmmmm... Then I started to think... (why did I even start this Blogging thing?) Was it so I could come up with snazzy titles and interesting catch phrases????
Nnnnooooooo... I did this so i could write down meaningless events in some desperate attempt that the right person would read them, and without warning call me up and protest their undying love for me... or just show up in nothing but a thong and a case of Ice Cold Whipped Cream... cause guys and girls if you leave it out for over 5 minutes it gets all runny and it won't stay where you put it. but hey it still tastes good.. and then you have a reason to shower with your girl :)
btw this is apparently what Im good for:::
PrincssCrys1620: Quick say something funny :-)
VolcanoKL: I love clam chowder!
VolcanoKL: red not white
VolcanoKL: and i eat it with chop sticks... ever try that?
VolcanoKL: its hard as f**k!
PrincssCrys1620: haha
PrincssCrys1620: I bet
PrincssCrys1620: thank you
VolcanoKL: youre welcome
PrincssCrys1620: okay i gotta go.
Do you see that?! What am I? Comic relief for my friends in their desperate times? I think so.
Anyways... Back to my original point... hold on, gimme a sec...
..................................
..................................
..................................
.......................okay got it
I sat here focusing on the title for this blog.. and oooooh what a good blog it is. yessss, good blog...
...sit blog. sit. Good blog.
then i realized i was focusing on the wrong thing.. what i should have been focusing on is the body of the blog... or the "BB" not the "BT" (blog title) But I caught myself... so the moral of the story is...
actually... i have no idea what the moral of the story is.
or maybe it's something like...
:::don't focus on the meaningless shit:::
...or something like that. yeah, we spend too much time focusing on bull shit. what clothes we are gonna wear to the movies. what the latest styles are, what the latest music is. what do i want people hearing me listening to when i roll up in that piece!? Why??? cause everyone is ALWAYS and i dont give a monkeys left testicle who you are... everyone including you and myself is always watching, looking, staring, comparing, sizing up and of course... always always...JUDGING.
JUDGER!
Why do we do this? Is it because modern society has everyone believing that they have to be perfect every time out!? Is it because we are supposed to look like the Calvin Klein models or the Beautiful ladies in "Elle"? Follow the fashion trends of the french or drive the cars that you always see on the prototype floor but you never see on the road?
"We are the all singing all dancing crap of the world."
tyler durden / fight club.
"Advertisments has us chasing cars and clothes. Working jobs we hate so we can by shit that we don't need."
tyler durden / fight club
This is what it comes down to ladies and gentlman, children of all ages...
Take all your material possessions and forget about em...money clothes cars gadgets computers toys sunglasses electronics the latest in cheese graders from that infomercial that you couldnt stop watching or that piece of shit furniture that you got from IKEA that cost you $90.00 to buy thats sole purpose is to collect dust ...but only cost IKEA 0.56 cents to produce.
it's almost like we have to prove our wealth to other people by displaying the material possessions we have... well i'd have to say if you fall into this puddle of stagnate shit...
you are an idiot! yes.. no sugar coating. you are a fool and i laugh at you... "HA HA HA" <-- thats me laughing. out loud..
...no, really... i just did that.
I just got back from seeing "The day after tomorrow." and those movies always get me to thinking... if i were facing death, with no way out and only weeks, days, hours, minutes, moments to live... what would i miss the most? What would i regret?? If I were faced with having to choose to save one thing in a raging fire what would it be... my T.V. or my lyrics? My X.Box or my photo album.. My bean bag chairs or the letters from my ex girlfriend... My paperback porn or my video porn?!?!? Now that is the eternal and unanswerable question.. "My paperback porn or my video porn?!?!?" I think possibly paperback cause i would need a dvd player or vcr to watch the videos not to mention the t.v. (which by the way i did mention. i never really understood the meaning of that statement anyways.) and since i chose to save my lyrics instead of my T.V. i guess that leaves me outside without no porn AND THAT...is no good.
okay time to practice...
www.smilinmcgee.com
www.billyfloyd.com
lata bye! be back later to finish this one up...
okay im back... bUT...i dont have anything more to say. so... i guess im done.
buh bye Caaaarl, Tara, Jimmy, Crystal, Matt, Solange, John, Elisha, Travis, and Nikki...
10 seperate IM's going at once...
IT'S A NEW RECORD!!!!
(APPLAUSE)
(CROWD CHEERING)
(BANDS PLAYING: "HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO!!!")
bye.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
