Crawdads and FlipFlops!

So I have to say and I apologize to all my other fellow rebels out there... I have given in... I HAVE!! :( and I did it by my own cognizance... i did... im sorry. not really. but arent people supposed to say "im sorry" when they have not only, let someone down, but maybe done something unexpected...

OKAY NEW TOPIC!!! Geez, I didnt think id be talking about this. but no! you fuggers got me started!!!

DOES ANYONE, EVER, IN THE ENTIRETY OF THE FRIGGIN UNIVERSE, PERHAPS SOMEWHERE IN THE MILKyWAY, ON THE FRIGGIN MOON, UNDER THE SEA OR IN MY E-Z BAKE OVEN.... UNDERSTAND THE PROPER USE OF....

"I'M SORRY" ?????

COMMON PEOPLE! EVERYONE USES IT IT SO LOOSELY..almost as bad as "I Love You" (different topic for a different day.)

ONLY SAY "I'M SORRY" WHEN YOU MEAN IT! NOT WHEN YOU THINK YOURE SUPPOSED TO AND YOU DONT WANNA!!! SHUT THE F*!$ UP!!! IF YOURE NOT SORRY... DONT SAY IT! IF YOU ARE SORRY... SAY YOURE F*!$N' SORRY! GET IT RIGHT!!! THIS IS NOT AERONAUTICAL ENGINEERING HERE!

....break time...gotta check on dinner 10:19 p.m. bbias. for all of you intellects that means Be Back In A Sec... geez

.......out

1:10 a.m.

cool, I'm back. After a chat with my friend Nikki, some steamed crawdads a bowl of cocoa crispies a lil nap and Jurassic Park I DVD...im ready to write or type...yeah.. type.

So in my mist of thinking, pondering, and eating i have added something else to the BLOG adgenda for the evening...

1stly: I finally broke down and bought a pair of flipflops... yes flipflops. not sandals... fthat!

flipflops? why are they called flip flops...because of the continuous annoying f*ing sound they make when i walk.. Flip...Flop / Flip...Flop...D0h! it's like my feet are keeping time...when the hour hits for some reason im dissapointed when they dont make a *ding* sound. its easy to time things though... i dont have to keep seconds in my head... i just walk around and count my steps..

Flip 1
Flop 2
Flip 3
Flop 4... and so on and so forth.

anyways yeah they are as comfortable as the invisible condoms that "invisible-condoms-r-us" makes... they're online at...

www.invisiblehappyjacket.com <---good one huh?
i just made that up:) Jimmy Buy It!!! Hurry before its gone!

anyways...crawdads....are "crawfish" to you southerners and less creative (not saying that southerners are less creative, however... they were learned to me as bein' crawdads.)

bah! pinch the tail suck the head... nice! those are the only two rules at my house when lovely ladies that i have a sexual attraction to grace me with their presence :) so me and crawdaddies got sumpin' in common...

anyways they're good. good. goooooooooood.

so...if you've ever been in this position raise your hand...
(not yet matthew) i haven't even said it yet.

So you find a particularly cute specimen of the opposite sex that strikes your fancy. for some reason, something about them just gets deep down inside of ya and at any given second, when youre around this person you just wanna... bite them on the ass! they just look so scrumptious.. how can you contain yourself?!?!!? youre just gonna bust unless you get a lil taste or at least a 4 hour session of passionate, unbelievable, necklace ripping, ass slapping, picture breaking, pillow biting sex! and then they say the worst of worsteses. the baddest of bads...

"You have got to meet my friend "*****" she/he is so pretty and she/he plays this that and the other. [[and the worst of all]](she/he)eeeeees single."

NOTE: (**) means look to the bottom...

OH! YOU DID NOT JUST TRY TO PAWN ME OFF?! Dammit, first of all, do you think i dont know what youre doing. I DO! do i look that (**)naieve... maybe, but if i do its because i dont wanna let you know that you just ripped off my head and pulled out my soul!

GOOD GOD. okay by a show of hands.. one, two, three... common common be honest... four, five, six, seven... yes, even if your gay... thanks lucas...eight, nine, ten... good. that enough my point is made. sux huh. yeah it does.

but i haveta say...this time... with a sad sigh... i was the one trying to pawn the person off... and i'm sorry :( it sux, i know. you all hate me... and the only thing i have to say to that is...

F*** YEAH... Join the club!!! You honestly think it hurts my feelings if you dont like me?! Ha! Like one of my bestest buds says.. "Boooooooo". Bring it Fockers! The more of you that hate me the longer I will poison your thoughts and haunt your dreams!!! and i'll have something else to keep me busy at night.

So all you Kappa Lambda F***s out there... F*** OFF!
Bruce or should i say "WADE" ... F*** OFF!
Chris, you wanna reason to be mad at me.. heres one.

#1. F*** OFF!

OOOOOOOOOhhhhhh! and you know who.. yes im talkin to you.
... drumroll please... dadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadaaaa

F*** Off! :)

Love Me or Hate Me... I'm Still on your mind!!! Yeeeessss

btw...(that means "by the way", dumba$$) if any of you ever have the nuts [or the perverbial nuts for those females out there] to not run away from the convo like the lil bit**es you are the next time you see me coming....if i owe you a .f***off. , the next time i see you... ill be sure to convey my feelings... in person:) but legally, very politely, and gentleman like. trust me it can be done.

what?! do you think i wont roast anyone on here? common. if you read this and i have mentioned a friend of yours in it... please tell them for me... pleeeeeease :) and if you think you just might be the:

"""OOOOOOOOOhhhhhh! and you know who.. yes im talkin to you."""

that i spoke of above...

just for thinkin it... I may owe you one bonafied, custom made, hand crafted... from the finest minerals this side of da mississippi...

"F*** OFF!"

and btw if anyone owes me a .f***off., which im sure they're out there especially after this post,... send them to:

c/o i dont give a sh*t
3825 i dont give a sh*t lane
eatmya$$ville, d**cheb*g
24824

yes of course the numbers mean something and to spell "mississippi" i used the lil diddy we all learned as kids... well some of us learned the diddy... for you other **imbreds..it goes like this.

M-I-S-S / I-S-S / I-P-P-I

yes... pretty much.
Anyways... lets do some positive shoutouts..

yes i write love songs and poetry and i define my feelings and emotions through lyrics and music but that doesnt mean i cant get a lil heated sometimes... but to the niceness...

Tessa, it was wonderful seeing you once again and meeting your sister and having the lovely opportunity to lay my eyes on your strikingly beautiful mother :)
~Thank you.

Jimmy-Wan-Cannoli! you da man! thanks for the resume assistance and of course saving me from those man-eating goats yesterday.
~Thank you.

Erica, the last few days here... were...
how do you say "educational" in french?
~Thank you

btw the french language sounds sooooo sexy.

Matt, My dawg!

GBooooooooone... Buddaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! miss you man (*tear)

Caaarl, Daytona Kicked ass last night
~Thank you :)

KellyBean... I always feel good when im around beautiful ladies. ~Thank you.

Tara, I'm proud of you that you started your own blog... *tear* shes all grown up now... look at her...blogging on her own.

Cliff, wonderful compliment on my blogging powers! you too are a blogging superhero... later, we shall give ourselves superhero blogging names like "BlogMan!" perhaps "Strong-Blog" or the dreaded "Blog-Vader"... maybe "Darth-Blog" or "The-Blogster" and we can drive around in the "Blog-Mobile!" and live in the "Blog-Cave".. okay, enough billy... okay, sorry billy.

btw having a convo with yourself is quite (**)therapudic..

hmm whoelse to thank...

Megan! you, my friend are one of the coolest of cools i have met.
~Thank you.

hmm...who to thank...who to thank...who to thank

My Parents for not disowning me after reading all the profanity in this blog. Thank you so much:) love you, see you soon... great ziti mom :)

NO PEOPLE ITS RESPECT!!! I LOVE MY FAMILY AND RESPECT THEM. IF YOU WERE DISRESPECTED IN ANYWAY BY WHAT I HAVE PREVIOUSLY STATED IN THIS BLOG...

GOOD!!! I MEANT TO DISRESPECT YOU! YOU DONT DESERVE MY RESPECT! :)

now that we got that out of the way...

DAMN, im on a roll now, but i think, i said everything i wanted to say except... dont forget.. where there is a (**) that means the meaning is at the bottom of the page...see if you can find them all. its like an easter egg hunt.

and just in case i forgot one or two people..

(F*** Off!) and (~Thank You)

Here I am ... signing off. finally you basta**s!

Sincerely,
~Blogger The Great!

this is what the (**) means...

if i spelled it wrong, look it up and email me the correct spelling please. and if you found them all before reading this... wow! you are bored! but it was a challenge and I think i would try to find it too..if after reading this you went back to find them all....well........no comment.

so with your correct spellings or comments...

you can send them to:

getalifemoron@youreadumbbasta**.com

common you had to see that one commin...

signing off at 2:19 a.m.

what!? i put a lot of thought into these blogs... if you ever took anything this seriously in your life you may not be a loser... notice i said "may not" these blogs come with no gaurantees, Exchanges, Returns...and absolutely NO REFUNDS!

bye.

okay now it's 2:35 a.m. ... what?! i wasnt done. but now megans IM window is flashing and its annoying me so buh bye all sleep tight :)

by the way if you wanna comment just click the "comment" button at the botton.. yup... right down there.. see it? good.