Map This / Change that

So after a few Coronas 2 incence sticks (jasmine) mmm...jasmine.. one of the hottest disney characters ever! kind reminds me of my friend Krupa. shes hot as well.. spicy even!

anyways...allen, garrett, and myself lit a pimp candle, cause thats the kind of candles pimps have (pimp candles) and we sat on my kitchen floor and had some kick ass convo about the band. from old lessons to new horizons... then my friend erica joined the party.. the more the merrier, thats how i see it at least...

3 guys 1 girl... YESSSSS!!!

so garrett and i continued to drink the rest of the coronas after allen headed home and erica proceeded to read her book... garrett and i pimp-walked out to my patio for some interesting pimp convo on the aftermath of having sex with someone because it's fun. good convo and BTW i knew as soon as that bastard broke the seal he'd but up every 2 min. that kid has a bladder the size of a tuna sandwich. anyways...

so there we sat, on the patio, it was good clean fun.

however... you may be asking yourself...

when does the bitching come along?

wait a tick! he hasnt ranted about anything yet!!!

ALAS MY FRIENDS THE TIME IS NEAR!!!

so after everything.. it was a good night, a good convo, and time for some good sleep...

Ahhh...ZZZzzzzz

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!

sh*t! i spoke too soon!!! almost good sleep!!!

DAMMIT WHOS CALLING!!??!!

then i receive a call from possibly one of the most beautiful people that has ever walked our doomed planet. yes ladies and gentlemen ...the one...the only....the infamous....the computer savy...

TESSA!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!

The crowd goes wild... TESSA! TESSA! TESSA! WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP! (swirling fist in the air)

so the phone rings at like 9:45 this morning and thank GOD for caller ID cause it was Tessa calling me from work... which by the way is the only place Tessa calls me from. I think it's so when her boyfriend looks at her cell phone bill he wont see that shes totally head over heels for the B. Floyd! or maybe its because she doesnt want me to have her cell number

... eh i like the first one better... yeah.

...its because she loves me! :)

anyways... do you know how long i was on the phone with her??! huh!?!? do ya? do ya? kenya guess?

mapping network drives, changing security clearance, adding user accounts, and administrative accounts, changing passwords, and access rights...

ahhh!!!!

not something i want to deal with at 12:00 in the afternoon!?!?
---Wait a tick!--- you just said she called you at 9:45 and now youre saying...

what?! no way 12:00 p.m.?!? R U SERIOUS?! you were on the phone with her for how long? You have got to be shitting tiffany cufflinks! and for what? for who? and why did i do this???

because ladies and gentlemen im addicted.
Im addicted to beautiful women and it will be my downfall.
It's like someone being addicted to cigarettes...
but theres a medical reason why youre addicted...
...it's the nicotine.. yes..the nicotine.

well thats what beautiful women are to me, they are my nicotine they amaze me? Is it because they're beautiful???.. perhaps a lil but mostly because the're so interesting to figure out. they're not difficult to figure out but they are more challenging than a pretty girl or a cute girl. the cuties and pretties are easy to figure out. its the HOT ones that get me...

damnit all to hell!!!

is there a hot girl patch i could wear? maybe some gum i could chew? what would ease my craving for the hottness??? Well my people!

when youre thirsty.. what do you do? you drink somethin'
when youre hungry??? thats right ... chomp friggin chomp...

so when i have a craving for "the hottness" what do i do???
well theres only one way to satisfy that craving and unfortunately for me it doesn come in vhs, dvd or paperback... it gotztabe the real thing. i need a hot girl... a damn hot girl... a girl that i have no business even standing next to... thats the only thing that can do it...

so i set out on my journey and i bring my weapon of choice with me..

"What is it?" you may ask!!!... oh no no no i will never tell, but its a sure thing. the ladies can't resist it, they try to but it's like gravity or a big huge ginormous magnet and the Ladies are the Hottness and the Hottness is metal.. and Metal Loves Magnets!!!

Screw off!!! I like my analogy... lol. i just said "anal" thats awesome!

========DING SUBJECT CHANGE==========

ring. ring. friggin ring. it's 12:34 and guess who just called me...

...thats right: TESSA!!! and she cant get to her address book...
what i really want to tell her is to get in her car and come to my house so we can shoot each other with tranquilizer darts and f**k like stoned test bunnies. yeesss.

okay... that was fun 12:46 off the phone, she really is a sweet heart. maybe im missing the picture, maybe she asks me for help just like a damsel in distress would ask superman for help... maybe its kind like when marzipan asks homestar runner to open the pickle jar for her... or when carmen electra was like "hey billy oh my god you friggin rock!! oh please oh please lemme suck your..."

i mean...whaaat??!

or when that really hot air conditioner fixer girl was like..

"hey do you mind taking you hand of my 'utility belt'?"

whatever!.. she liked it...

anyways... what was i talking about....
................................oh yeah

maybe she likes me... like... likes me likes me and im just too blind to see it. or maybe she doesnt.

eh, i think she does.
She wantzme!!!
SHe thinks Im Deeeeead Seeexy!!

=========DING SUBJECT CHANGE========

There have been times when I have told someone ...

"yeah im here for ya anytime... dont hesitate.. it all good."

And then they take complete advantage of it calling! and asking! and begging! and i need this! and i need that! and I need the other thing!
...and I'm like "DAMN!" I mean I know i said i was here for you anytime you needed anything but i didnt really mean anytime!!!

I meant when it's convenient for me!!!!! GEEZ!!!

okay... now that i got that out of the way...

time for a corona and a shower...and of course a lime...

and YES AT THE SAME TIME.

Ever have an ice cold beer in a steamy hot shower... its the best of both worlds. I suggest you try it.

ill leave you with this quote...

"as the passions of life make their way through the starry backlit canopy that the night carries...remember that I will always be here for you and youll be there for me. because love is the bond that will hold us together forever."
~pbf

pbf <-- thats me btw "pretty boy floyd"

out!

1:41 p.m.